=( IM SOOOO SAD =(
I really don't know what to do guys. I can't eat, I can't sleep , all I can do is cry. I've beencrying for practically 24 hours now. I don't know why this has to be so hard.
So basically, kevin cheated on me on new years eve and it ruined my world. I know that we had our problems and all of you had to witness them....It's still just so hard when someone whos been your world and your everything for 2 years just goes and does something like that while you are calling them. I LOVED him so much.
How could he lay in my bed and tell me he loves me more than anything and he's in love with me...and then go and do this. That is whats so heartbreaking because I let the stuff he had to say get to me over and over again. I really was like wow he does care about me and then he goes and breaks my heart into a million pieces. I want so bad to just be like okay I forgive you and give him a hug and act like nothing happened but I'm not stupid I can't go on with someone who has no feelings when he does something like this. I try to think back to last year and all I can still think about is kevin. He really was my life in so many ways. He was always there for me when I was upset with my parents and he even stuck up for me a few times. And I'd like to think tht I was there for him when He was upset about his mom or his friends. I just don't understand how someone who "loves" you and who knows that you love them would just go and do this!! I thought he wasnt stupid. It's way too hard on me because once you put trust in someone for so long it's like you think they wont hurt you this bad and when they do its just so devastating.
To be with someone , lose your virginity to them because you love them so much. And have them be the only one you want to kiss hug cuddle with have sex with or just watch tv or go out to eat with and know that you just cant do that ever again is just way too difficult.
As much as I really do want him in my life.... he just cant be in my life. I need these memories to just go away on how I thought that I found someone who I loved more than anything and who would accept me for who I was even with my scars, and my emo-ness. I really thought he was my soul mate as corny as that may sound I really thought he could do me no wrong this bad. I really thought I could be inhis life forever,,, even if we were just friends. but no, all of that was thrown away. I really should never talk to him again because no guy is worth this many tears especially kevin.