There are some habit’s that even death can’t break…

Apr 24, 2005 18:07

I opened my eyes slowly, groaning as I moved from all of the soreness in my muscles. I think even my toes and hair hurt, is that even possible ( Read more... )

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sexytarawitch May 15 2005, 00:11:13 UTC
"So beautiful...Such a beautiful little whore."

I felt his arms around me even tighter and I cried out as I came with him, my body tightening around him as I shuddered against him. I couldn't speak, everything inside me was humming and raw with lust. The things he said disturbed me but there was something inside me that wanted them, wanted more of it.

"Wouldn’t have though,"

I looked at him as he ran his hand through my hair. I didn't have to ask him if he was just saying it, I knew he wouldn't, I believed him and everything he said.

A small smile crossed my lips and I leaned into him, pressing my body to his as I felt a wave of reasuence fall over me, even more when he said he'd never hurt me.

I believed him, with all that's inside me I believed him.

"I love you." I murmured tilting my head up and kissing him softly. I had so many questions running through my mind and I didn't know where to start first. I pushed them aside for now and leaned my head back against him. "Bedroom." I murmured, feeling quite sedated.

Wrapping my arms around him I laughed and held onto him when he brought us to the bedroom and laid me on the bed. Grinning I pulled him down and kissed him, wrapping my leg around his and keeping him to me. "Morning."

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 15 2005, 00:34:54 UTC
Bloody fantastic, that shag was. Bloody fantastic, really took it out of me, too, ‘cos for a minute there I was ready to tell her to toss off and bloody walk to the bed herself. ‘Course carrying her turned out to be a lot more fun, as usual. Thank god I was learning to keep my bloody trap shut.

Had a fair idea why it was so damn good, too. She’d finally let go, see…stopped being afraid of her desires. It was a sight to see, let me tell you.

I pressed my damp body against hers and sighed contently. “Morning to you to,” I said, smiling lightly and kissing her lips, moaning softly as she wrapped her legs around me. “Is this a oh-so subtle hint that you’d like another wake up call?” I asked, settling between her legs and feathering a line of kisses over her jaw.

“‘Cos just gimme a minute and I’d be happy to oblige.”

But something was niggling away at me and I had to ask. Sometimes I got carried away with things and she had to know that’s all it was, just games. “You know all that was a game, right? I’d rather burn that harm a hair on your head, s’just fun to playact sometimes, you know?”

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sexytarawitch May 15 2005, 23:52:32 UTC
I groaned and giggled against his neck. "Oh no, I think I've had my fill right now." I leaned in and kissed him softly. "I love how you feel against me, makes me feel safe. Plus we need to go out in a bit, need energy and stuff."

“You know all that was a game, right? I’d rather burn that harm a hair on your head, s’just fun to playact sometimes, you know?”

A wave of relief washed over me and I smiled at him, my eyes meeting his. "I do, now." I sighed and ran my hands through his hair and smiled. "I thought it was and then you know the crazy started and I w-wasn't sure." I bit my lip and nodded, smiling at him slightly. "I do know, I liked it, maybe more then I should. But I did and it feels wrong and good at the same time."

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck, moaning softly at the feel of him before I whispered softly to him. "Spike...W-will you love me even if I'm not what you want? I mean, I'm not who I used to be and I'm not your beautiful creature that you wanted...I'm not warm anymore...I-I mean...will you love me even if I'm never...I'm not the same..."

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 16 2005, 07:50:57 UTC
"Oh no, I think I've had my fill right now."

Was that a relief, not that I…but you know, I wasn’t bloody superman.

I grinned at her. “Thank bloody god,” I smiled. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but we were lucky we made it to the bed the amount of energy I’ve got left.”

"I do know, I liked it, maybe more then I should. But I did and it feels wrong and good at the same time."

Bloody women, and she was supposed to be an empowered modern day one, too. “Only feels wrong ‘cos it’s against what you’ve been told nice girls should like,” I told her. “Truth is nice girls like just the same nasties as the bad ones, only they hide it better.”

"Spike...W-will you love me even if I'm not what you want? I mean, I'm not who I used to be and I'm not your beautiful creature that you wanted...I'm not warm anymore...I-I mean...will you love me even if I'm never...I'm not the same..."

“Love,” I sighed and cupped her face in my hands. I hated that she felt so unsure that I loved her. Bloody hell, I worshipped her! Didn’t she know that? “Look, I never meant to turn you…I mean, I did obviously but I never planned on it. I never wanted more than you were…always just wanted to be with you.”

I kissed her softly and looked into her beautiful eyes. Not beautiful? That was utter bollocks, I think she bloody was insane.

“And you’ve always been a beautiful creature,” I murmured, trailing a finger over her cheekbone. “Always will be. Bloody hell, Tara, I’ll love you ‘til the stars drop out of the sky. Never doubt it.” I kissed her again, more deeply this time and I felt her wrap her arms around me, snuggling up. I really couldn’t believe things were going so well, maybe she was over the craziness and that. Maybe she was okay…maybe the soul wasn’t such a problem after all. A bloke could hope.

“Sun’ll be down soon,” I told her, pulling back a little and taking a whiff of the air. “You should get dressed, pack up your trinkets and whatnot and we’ll dump it at the crypt before we go to the Magick Box.”

Suddenly my stomach growled loudly. Tara grinned and I smiled sheepishly at her. “Think there might still be some bloody there ’n all.”

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sexytarawitch May 16 2005, 08:09:29 UTC
I shook my head. "I-I don't mean that. I know s-some girls like it naughty..." I ducked my head down and I would have blushed if I could. "There's that and there's the other things, the urges." I admitted. "I just feel so torn, I can't be who you want me to be - if you admit it or not - and I can't be who I w-was." I sighed and tightened my arms around him. "I love you, I just need to find a balance somehow, learn how to live with both..."

The way he touched me, the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me did nothing but surprise me and put a fire in my stomach. It made me want him even more, I just wanted him. Only him. I wanted to please him and I wanted everything to be happy and as normal as they could get with us. I had to have hope somehow. I had to.

He pulled back and told me to get dressed, I just smiled slightly at him. "What, I can't go like this? Don't want anyone else to get a peak at what's yours?" I teased him before leaning in and kissing him softly. "Yeah, let's go and bring the stuff to the crypt and then head over to the shop." I paused and looked at him. "you do know w-why I need to go right? I have to find some things out, there's a lot going on in this head of mine and..." I sighed and leaned into him, pressing my forehead against his. "It's something I need to do. I h-hope you understand."

My stomach growled and I laughed. "I think mine's hungry too." He had a twinkle in his eye and I felt a twinge, like a part of me would never fully satisfy and please him. "I-I'm sorry...I can't Spike...I just...it's not in me." I bit my lip and looked down. I don't know why but I felt guilty not being able to kill someone to please him, just as much as I felt guilty wanting to kill someone.

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 18 2005, 06:48:48 UTC


I frowned. There she went, fretting about everything again…didn’t make matters any easier either, me feeling utterly helpless n’ all. Couldn’t’ seem to say the right thing anyway, so it was probably best to keep my gob shut. A weight lifted, though, when she said she loved me, bloody hell, don’t think I’d ever get sick of hearing that come out of her mouth.

"What, I can't go like this? Don't want anyone else to get a peak at what's yours?"

I grinned, catching my tongue between my teeth. Cheeky little thing…that spanking was definitely on the top of my to do list now. In fact…

Pulling back my hand a little, I slapped her bare bottom, grinning widely when she yelped. “Too right, I don’t,” I told her, squeezing her ass.

"You do know w-why I need to go right? I have to find some things out, there's a lot going on in this head of mine and...It's something I need to do. I h-hope you understand."

“Course I understand, love,” I said softly, running my hands up her back and pulling her close. I did, too. I knew it must be confusing as hell for her right now, been through that myself with the chip ‘n all, so a little trip to the Magick Box wouldn’t be too much of a hardship, ‘specially if it made her smile a little. I had a bad feeling she wasn’t going to find what she wanted though, Red tended to be a bit of a free thinker with her magicks, doubt anyone had thought to ensoul a vampire before…’cept for a fun little curse of course.

"I think mine's hungry too."

Felt like saying that she should go out and get us both some dinner, but I didn’t. I knew she wouldn’t - couldn’t - but the thought of how magnificent she’d be supping at some young thing’s neck still crossed my mind and she must’ve been able to tell.

"I-I'm sorry...I can't Spike...I just...it's not in me."

“Sssh,” I cooed, stroking her hair. I hated that look she got, like she thought she was disappointing me. She wasn’t, maybe the situation, yeah, but not her. Never her.

“I don’t give a toss about that, I told you. Tell you the truth I’m so out of practice I don’t think it’s really in me anymore.” Liar. “So no need to fret, and no need for sorries, okay?”

Leaning forward, I kissed her softly and held her tight, forgetting about my hunger. Maybe I really didn’t care that much. Strange.

Pulling back, I grinned at her. “Hey, why don’t you slip into that green number I saw you trying on back in the shop?” I slid a hand over her hip.

“You looked a right treat in it, love.”

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sexytarawitch May 18 2005, 07:23:51 UTC
He didn't understand, but I loved him so much more for trying to understand the way he was. He tried, with everything in him - at least I saw - he was trying to understand and love me for me, who and what I am now and now what I was or could be.

At least I hoped that.

He was going to take me to the shop and I was going to look around and find the books that Willow used and figure out what was going to happen. I didn't want to lose myself, I liked my shyness to a degree and I loved the little things that made me me. But I worried that if I lost my soul if I would lose those little quirks that were mine. If I would totally lose myself.

It was a fear I wasn't ready to face.

“I don’t give a toss about that, I told you. Tell you the truth I’m so out of practice I don’t think it’s really in me anymore. So no need to fret, and no need for sorries, okay?”

I had to give him points for effort, he tried to keep things from me and as long as it wasn't anything big and hurtful it was ok. He didn't want me upset is all he said why he did. It was alright.

"Ok." I murmured quietly when he leaned in and kissed me, my body melting into his as he held me tightly to him. I kissed him back softly, flicking my tongue over his and sucking his bottom lip before he pulled back.

A small smile crossed my lips and I grinned at him. "I bet..." Pulling myself from his arms I slowly got out of the bed, looking towards the window - mostly from habit - and saw the sun was down. "Sun's gone, it should be safe to go now."

I slowly walked over to he bags and pulled out what he wanted me to wear, I grinned at him over my shoulder and started to slip on the dark green low cut top before squeezing my way into leather pants.

There was a groan behind me and I looked over at Spike. "What?" I smirked and looked at him wide eyed and innocently. "Something wrong?"

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 18 2005, 12:56:39 UTC
When she got up to get dressed, I rolled away from her and bent over the edge of the bed, fishing ‘round for my coat on the floor. It’d been the perfect morning - ‘cept that it was the afternoon, but who gave a toss? - and the only thing that could make it any better was a fag. I dug around in my pocket and found the pack and my lighter and rolled over…

Soon as I did though, lighting a ciggy was the furthest thing from my mind. What a bloody sight! There was Tara, squeezing into the tightest pair of leather pants I’d ever bloody seen. Oh, bugger me…the sight of that dark leather sliding up her creaming thighs and over that gorgeous, ripe bottom did things to me, and before I could restrain myself, I let out a loud groan.

"What? Something wrong?"

All I could think about was getting her back into bed as soon as humanly possible. Jumping up, I slid up behind her and ran a hand up her leather clad thigh.
“Nothing at all, pet,” I murmured kissing her neck softly and pulling her against tme. Fuck, the feel of that leather on my bare cock was bloody…

“‘cept that you look hot as hell in that get up…so much so I’m thinking maybe we should postpone our little outing.”

Grabbing her hips, I spun her around to face me, getting myself a nice eyeful of her cleavage in that scrumptious velvet top before I claimed her lips, kissing her deeply.

Breaking the kiss, I mumbled against her lips, “What’d you say, hmm?”

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sexytarawitch May 18 2005, 13:50:31 UTC
I giggled when he got up and pressed himself against me. I guess he approved of what I was wearing, a small moan escaped my lips when I felt him pressing into my thigh.

“‘cept that you look hot as hell in that get up…so much so I’m thinking maybe we should postpone our little outing.”

Crying out when he grabbed me I laughed and wrapped my arms around him as he kissed me. I laced my hand in his hair and dug my nails into his back, pressing him more to me.

“What’d you say, hmm?”

Sighing softly I shook my head, kissing his forehead. "Sorry baby, I can't." I murmured softly, running my hands over his chest. "Sun just went down, have too." I grinned slightly at him. "After we could..." I boldly wrapped my hand around him and stroked him softly for a moment before smirking and walking away to find my shoes.

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 18 2005, 14:08:02 UTC

Fire burned in my gut and I started to get hard when she began playing with my cock, but all too soon she pulled away from me, smirking her little head off the whole time. Yeah, I’d definitely created a monster…bloody deliciously sexy one, though.

“You’re a bloody tease, you know that?” I said, smirking and picking up my pants. “Might not want to tempt a bloke like that,” I threatened playfully, doing up my belt. “Never know what sort of trouble you might find yourself in.”

Images of her draped over my lap as I slapped her lovely bare, ass raced through my mind. Mmm, yeah, definitely on the agenda for later…maybe I’d even introduce her to my belt, bet she’d love that…know I bloody would. But she was right though, we did need to get out of here, get something to eat and get to the Magic Box so my girl could sort herself out.

Grabbing my t-shirt, I pulled it over my head and watched as she brushed her hair, standing at the mirror like she still had a reflection. Without thinking, I walked over to her and took the brush. Turning her around to face me, I started to run the brush through her hair.

“You’ll get used to not having a reflection soon, love,” I reassured her, softly. “Pity you can’t see how pretty you look though,” I added, fondly, stroking the bristles though her honey blonde locks.

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sexytarawitch May 18 2005, 14:20:34 UTC
I gave him a lopsided grin. "I'm with you, you're constant trouble." I teased him playfully as I turned while he got dressed. I sighed and walked around the room, getting our things together and finally putting my shoes on.

Purely out of habit I walked over to the mirror and just looked at myself, still amazed that I didn't see myself, or Spike for that matter. I could hear him - with such sharp clarity - but I couldn't see him. It was very sureal.

I picked up my brush from the night table and started brushing out my hair, I've noticed it was a bit different since I was turned, seems thicker and has more shine. Maybe even longer. It was all in my head no doubt, unless certian features changed when you did as well.

The brush was pulled out of my hand and I looked at Spike confused before a small smile crossed my lips as he started to brush my hair out. I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling him run it through my hair, smoothing away all the signs of what we did the past two nights and letting it fall down my back.

"H-how Spike?" I opened my eyes while he continued, I reached a hand up and touched his cheek. "My mamma used to do this, always made me feel better, calmer, safer." I smiled slightly. "Then again you do that now."

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ex_lovesbitc93 May 18 2005, 14:31:41 UTC
Her Mother? Not sure I was too happy about being compared with mummy dearest, but since it seemed to make her happy that I was doing it, I wasn’t going to open my trap and say a damn thing. It was so good just to see her smile.

“I’ll always protect you, princess,” I told her softly, giving her hair one last stroke and dropping the brush into her bag. “Always.”

Leaning forward, I kissed her lips softly again.

“Wonder how many times I’ve kissed you now,” I said thoughtfully, kissing her again. Stupid bloody thing to say. I shook my head. “Come on, then,” I said quickly, tugging her hand and leading her towards the door.

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sexytarawitch May 18 2005, 20:14:18 UTC
He gave me a look but didn't say anything, I just smiled and shook my head. "It's a good thing Spike. She was..." I sighed. "She was the most important person in my life, m-made me who I am, the things I love..." I leaned up and kissed him. "Love you."

I smiled softly and ducked my head down, feeling a warmth spread inside me when he spoke. Being protected was something new as well, nobody ever really did that. My mother, Willow tried but her focus was always on Buffy.

He mused quietly before kissing me yet again and I couldn't help but grin. "Dunno but not enough." I murmured, laughing when he started grabbing me towards the door. "Spike, wait." I pulled away from him and picked up our bags before going back to the door and to him. "Now I'm ready." He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me out down the hall towards the shop.

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