It's better when I bleed for you.

[__blowingxsmoke]

It's been a while. I don't really know how long it's been since my last entry. I have seriously fucked up. Summer is almost over and I don't really even know what the hell I have been doing these last few months. I don't know where I've been. I didn't mean it to end up this way. I am one of the sluttiest people I know. I don't know what my problem is. Yeah, I like sex but I should learn to say no when it doesn't feel right. I never meant to hurt you. I'll try to explain what's gone on since I stopped updating but I can't possibly put everything in one entry. Joe is going to college now. I broke up with him a while ago. A little more than a month ago? I'm not sure. I went down to visit him at his new apartment. He has 2 roommates and I thought they were nice guys but I guess I was wrong. All they want is sex. Joe and me aren't getting along well anymore. A few nights ago me him and danielle were drunkish and she was driving and I was sitting in the front seat minding my own buisiness. She popped his tire, went on the wrong side of the road..etc. No one else was really driving around though because it was like 6am. Well, Joe flipped out mostly on me even though I didn't do anything. He was swearing and yelling and he really scared us. He punched the windshield really hard and cracked it. Then he was going on about how he was going to kill himself and shit. We had to wait there until some kids came to pick us up. I'm not allowed up to his apartment anymore. It's a long story. I fucked up. It was just as much their fault though. It doesnt make any sense. Everything fell apart. Summer is ending and we're all in different places. I would give anything for the three of us to be best friends again. I miss those days when we would all hang out and have fun. We were so damn happy. So what the hell happened? I'm not happy anymore. Not at all. He's not happy. Danielle might be, I'm not sure. I know she misses the old times. No one knows me anymore. I hate what I've done but it was fun at the time. I want you to know that I'm sorry but nothing can bring back what we used to have. I'm nearly gone inside.

I've been such a damn bitch lately
I've been worried and depressed and I took it out on you

I don't want to be anywhere anymore