These pills are fine to pass the time till I find my new drug.
It's been so long since I cried over it I almost forgot how it felt. It's just because I lost my distraction. More like gave away my distraction, very willingly gave it away. It was just a temporary fix, like a pain killer you take until your broken bone has healed. But once the side effects of the pain killers are more annoying then the actual pain, they just aren't worth it anymore, I can only hear someone talk about themselves and how amazing they are for so long before I want to vomit. I just need a new drug. A new addiction. The one I liked seems to be...pretty fucked up and pretty okay with that. I don't understand why guys get so stuck. Sometimes I think maybe I am a machine, a robot who can't understand why you are still crying over some girl who obviously doesn't care about you. But then I remember that when you cut me, I still bleed. I'm still here crying over someone who obviously doesn't care about me. But the difference is I'm not okay with being stuck. I want to move forward and I'm trying to be open to new people. I'm not just sitting around crying like a little bitch.