(no subject)
it is halloween and i am doing something really atypical on this special night... only kidding. i am tucked under covers, reading in my room, per usual. a year ago this would have bummed me out, but i've been thinking maybe this is what my life needs to look like for a while. if i keep chasing experiences for their own sake with no real thought to whether i want them, i am going to become hard and jaded much sooner than i'd like. sometimes its hard not to feel like the cheese that stands alone, as more and more friends become obsolete in my life, but i have been fighting this process for a long time. and i have managed to hang on to these friends probably longer than was natural. so maybe at some point you just have to stop fighting it and let the world keep turning...even if it means that you have to be alone for a little while. i am trying really hard to be mature about this as i am convinced that maturity is something i'm going to have to teach myself. in spite of all of this, i can't say i'm unhappy. i live an efficient little life and, all things considered, i am a pretty lucky girl. october is just ending and already we've had snow in asheville. i've been working as a nanny for a couple of weeks now and i'm really enjoying it. school is clicking along as always. important, beautiful, sublime things are happening everywhere, right now. the world is changing from minute to minute and we get to watch it. how lucky are we?