(no subject)
So I over-reacted. That's for sure.
I think it's because I don't get any of the usual everyday real life comments on things. I never see anyone, largely due to my own problems, and so the only contact I have, the only way I can really understand that anyone is there is through here. And, also, it's more than the live journal comments. It's the general communication. It's that I don't get calls or e-mails or anything like that. I don't really give them out much, either, so I'm just as guilty and it was wrong of me to be as upset as I was and to be as... I don't know. As vicious? That's a little too strong, but it's along the same line.
Everyone is so busy or so far away. Not everyone, I guess. Some of you I don't call nearly enough and I never reach out to, which is entirely my fault. I think it's because I don't know what we'd do, but I need to remember that we don't really need to do anything in particular. And I need to remember that some of you need the contact just as much as I do.
I think that things are going to get better when I get on medication, but I also think that I'm using that as a crutch and an excuse. I don't know.
I'm rarely doing anything important, and I really never mind having to wake up to answer the phone. My hours are so weird and change so constantly that it really doesn't bother me. Besides, my friends are way more important than sleep.
I don't usually do well with spur of the moment things, like "Hey, I'm gonna be at your house in 10 minutes, wanna go hang out?" because with the anxiety it takes me a little while to work up the drive to go out.
I'm sort of rambling now. What I want to say is this: I'm really sorry that I reacted that way - it was a lot of built-up stuff and I let it out in a very poor manner. I'm always available for a call, I'm usually free to do stuff, and I'm on AIM very frequently if you want to just talk. Also, I'm just as much at fault here and I'm going to be better at holding up my end of the friendship.
That being said, gaming is resuming on either the 15th or on the 19th. In the evening some time. And it'll be every-other Saturday after that. Because there was a long break and I have a lot of preparation to do, I'm accepting new players. I promise it will be fun and I promise that it will be a thing to do together on a regular basis. The best part of gaming, in my opinion, is the time spent with the friends you're gaming with. It's worth at least trying out, isn't it?
The group is level 2 or 3 so it'll be really easy to get into, even for people who have never played before. I hope at least some of you decide to join. Cait and E are already in, so it's a fun and familiar group.
I think it's because I don't get any of the usual everyday real life comments on things. I never see anyone, largely due to my own problems, and so the only contact I have, the only way I can really understand that anyone is there is through here. And, also, it's more than the live journal comments. It's the general communication. It's that I don't get calls or e-mails or anything like that. I don't really give them out much, either, so I'm just as guilty and it was wrong of me to be as upset as I was and to be as... I don't know. As vicious? That's a little too strong, but it's along the same line.
Everyone is so busy or so far away. Not everyone, I guess. Some of you I don't call nearly enough and I never reach out to, which is entirely my fault. I think it's because I don't know what we'd do, but I need to remember that we don't really need to do anything in particular. And I need to remember that some of you need the contact just as much as I do.
I think that things are going to get better when I get on medication, but I also think that I'm using that as a crutch and an excuse. I don't know.
I'm rarely doing anything important, and I really never mind having to wake up to answer the phone. My hours are so weird and change so constantly that it really doesn't bother me. Besides, my friends are way more important than sleep.
I don't usually do well with spur of the moment things, like "Hey, I'm gonna be at your house in 10 minutes, wanna go hang out?" because with the anxiety it takes me a little while to work up the drive to go out.
I'm sort of rambling now. What I want to say is this: I'm really sorry that I reacted that way - it was a lot of built-up stuff and I let it out in a very poor manner. I'm always available for a call, I'm usually free to do stuff, and I'm on AIM very frequently if you want to just talk. Also, I'm just as much at fault here and I'm going to be better at holding up my end of the friendship.
That being said, gaming is resuming on either the 15th or on the 19th. In the evening some time. And it'll be every-other Saturday after that. Because there was a long break and I have a lot of preparation to do, I'm accepting new players. I promise it will be fun and I promise that it will be a thing to do together on a regular basis. The best part of gaming, in my opinion, is the time spent with the friends you're gaming with. It's worth at least trying out, isn't it?
The group is level 2 or 3 so it'll be really easy to get into, even for people who have never played before. I hope at least some of you decide to join. Cait and E are already in, so it's a fun and familiar group.