(no subject)
Yesterday I hung out wit Theresa and Brenda. It was nice. today had soccer. I think we won I don't really know and quite frankly I don't really care. I always go to the games with the goal of not humiliating myself. I don't care if we win, as long as I come back not feeling like a moron, I'm fine. Well, I failed today. It was probably just me but all through the game I played terribly and made terrible mistakes. I was very embarrassed. I want to quit. But I know I won't. Then I stayed home and stayed in my soccer clothes cause I didn't see a point in changing and I read all day. From about noon until pretty much seven. Then I went to McDonalds with Sasha.
I thought I wanted to go back to school. I know that sounds weird, but in an odd sense it sometimes comforts me. I know what is expected from myself and I know what to expect of everyone else. But now I truly don't want to go. Cause I realized what to expect and it's nothing to look forward to. Just a bunch of fake people. The students and the teachers. And you know mostly everyone doesn't want to be there. But some of the people will pretend to. Everyone seems to put on an act right when they enter the doors. Now I'm not saying everyone definetely does, but I know it happens. You can just tell.
I thought I wanted to go back to school. I know that sounds weird, but in an odd sense it sometimes comforts me. I know what is expected from myself and I know what to expect of everyone else. But now I truly don't want to go. Cause I realized what to expect and it's nothing to look forward to. Just a bunch of fake people. The students and the teachers. And you know mostly everyone doesn't want to be there. But some of the people will pretend to. Everyone seems to put on an act right when they enter the doors. Now I'm not saying everyone definetely does, but I know it happens. You can just tell.