(Untitled)

Oct 26, 2004 18:46

Tonight was really emotional for me. It brought back so much, and I.. well, read for yourself.

yeahOKsoIliedANDcried )

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Re: my essay __annihilation October 27 2004, 01:06:57 UTC
See, that's another problem. I'm not willing to let psychologists help me. It's a different situation with my friends. I'm AFRAID to let them help me, thinking I'll sound completely self-absorbed when talking about my problems. I just need to open up. I've only been to two different therapists. Maybe they just weren't right for me, I don't know. I'm just not comfortable talking about my life. I know they've studied all about people, or even more specifically, teenage females and they know what they're talking about as they find out what bothers them the most. I'm not saying my life is more difficult than a 14 year old girl who was drugged, raped, and is now pregnant. I don't mean that at all, but I do think I have a few extra problems I don't need right now. And I've come to the realization that I probably have a few psychological disorders. I'm an acute hypochondriac for one. And I think I may be bipolar. I have severe anger management issues. I don't know.. It's all the result from all this bullshit.

I really don't know what I was thinking about the pills. I used to be hardcore into them, and now I can't even stand to hear the bottle shake or I get sick. But for some reason, I was willing to suck it up and take them because I just.. didn't care. It's like cutting or starving yourself. Maybe you're not doing it for suicide or even to hurt yourself, but because of that outlet you mentioned. It's the most terrible thing in the world. I realized I was a drug addict, always taking them and it was worse than just five or six ibuprofen at a time. Much worse. Needless to say, I'll think about the people I'm hurting before I ever pick up that bottle again. Again, thank you.

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