Bubbly
Bittersweet. When I'm done with this, I hope that's one of the emotions I can choose. Because that's exactly how I feel.
My situation right now is quite complicated. Everyone went up north the weekend of my 18th birthday. So I had a party. Dorian brings his cousin Kenny and because I'm a damn party slut we of course hooked up. But not making out like all the other times I've been the party slut. We spent the night together in my bedroom. And if we don't end up together, I will really regret that...
I told him that night I'm usually not attracted in the least bit to black guys, and if I didn't like him in the morning not to be surprised. Haha. But I did. Over the next few days we texted and what not. He told me that he had a girlfriend, but they were "about to" break up. That it was complicated and hard to break up with someone after so long.. or some shit like that. It makes me mad just to write it.
About a week later he asks me to come over and hang out. I do because I miss him. And we had a good time. He makes me happy. I'm happy being with him. A day or two later we hung out again. I'm supposed to be grounded but I say I'm "at work". The second time we hung out he pissed me off SO bad! I woke up for him at fuckin 9 am. Went over his house at like 10. When I could've slept in til 11. And he takes my fucking car and leaves me at his house for AT LEAST three hours...!! >[
"Oh baby I'm sorry I never had a girl with a car before so I guess I didn't know how this works.. Oh baby you should me mad at me I'm sorry... It wasn't even my fault Dorian blah blah blah" baby back bullshit...!!!!
I was so mad. But for some reason I forgave him. I went with him to drop off all his friends. And after that we were good and he was so sweet to me. I looked at him and said you like me? He said yes. I said you want to be with me? He said yes. I said then why do you still have a girlfriend? Oh I know they keep telling me to break up with her but it's not that easy and blah blah I will all that bullshit. Oh but I like you a lot. Gahhh. He's fuckin playing with my heart..! Idk man.. He's with me, but is he thinking of her?
So today I wanted to go hang out with him again, but his mom didn't have to work. Then he didn't call me most of the day, and by the time he did I was in church. So I called him when I got out and he said he was gonna go to the mall with me. Then I called back after my mom argued with me about going and he had made plans with his friends to go to Universal Mall. I don't even know why but I got mad. It's not like we'd even have that much fun at the mall because I "can't like him" because he still has a girlfriend. It's bullshit. But I was mad anyway. So I go to the mall with Dominick, come home, and about an hour later he calls me from Marcus's phone saying the car broke down and they need me to come pick them up. My mom let's me go thinking it's one of my girl friends. When he got in the car I asked him how many numbers he got just messin around. And he showed me all the numbers in his phone and told me who all the girls were. Tiera is in there as "My Baby" of course. And he said don't even get mad... But I was already mad. So his friends are always touching and messing with me to make him mad. Me and Paris locked him out of the car and he said aww you gon choose Paris over me? I said are you really talking when you still have a girlfriend? So he goes to show me his phone again and how he hasn't talked to Tiera in such and such days. But I wouldn't look to make him mad. I didn't care if he was talking to her or not she was still his girlfriend. Then when it was just us two in the car he says I swear I like you a lot. And some other bullshit that I fed right into apparently. Because I'm not mad anymore. And I kissed him like 5 times.. What the hell is wrong with me. How can I like this kid so much?
Before second semester I'm making him choose. And I just decided earlier today, if he doesn't make the right choice... I'm telling Tiera. Geez that probably makes me a bitch, but oh well..
At least I'll have tangoed at all.
quix·ot·ic (kwĭk-sŏt'ĭk)
adj.
The subject is a really good song.
My situation right now is quite complicated. Everyone went up north the weekend of my 18th birthday. So I had a party. Dorian brings his cousin Kenny and because I'm a damn party slut we of course hooked up. But not making out like all the other times I've been the party slut. We spent the night together in my bedroom. And if we don't end up together, I will really regret that...
I told him that night I'm usually not attracted in the least bit to black guys, and if I didn't like him in the morning not to be surprised. Haha. But I did. Over the next few days we texted and what not. He told me that he had a girlfriend, but they were "about to" break up. That it was complicated and hard to break up with someone after so long.. or some shit like that. It makes me mad just to write it.
About a week later he asks me to come over and hang out. I do because I miss him. And we had a good time. He makes me happy. I'm happy being with him. A day or two later we hung out again. I'm supposed to be grounded but I say I'm "at work". The second time we hung out he pissed me off SO bad! I woke up for him at fuckin 9 am. Went over his house at like 10. When I could've slept in til 11. And he takes my fucking car and leaves me at his house for AT LEAST three hours...!! >[
"Oh baby I'm sorry I never had a girl with a car before so I guess I didn't know how this works.. Oh baby you should me mad at me I'm sorry... It wasn't even my fault Dorian blah blah blah" baby back bullshit...!!!!
I was so mad. But for some reason I forgave him. I went with him to drop off all his friends. And after that we were good and he was so sweet to me. I looked at him and said you like me? He said yes. I said you want to be with me? He said yes. I said then why do you still have a girlfriend? Oh I know they keep telling me to break up with her but it's not that easy and blah blah I will all that bullshit. Oh but I like you a lot. Gahhh. He's fuckin playing with my heart..! Idk man.. He's with me, but is he thinking of her?
So today I wanted to go hang out with him again, but his mom didn't have to work. Then he didn't call me most of the day, and by the time he did I was in church. So I called him when I got out and he said he was gonna go to the mall with me. Then I called back after my mom argued with me about going and he had made plans with his friends to go to Universal Mall. I don't even know why but I got mad. It's not like we'd even have that much fun at the mall because I "can't like him" because he still has a girlfriend. It's bullshit. But I was mad anyway. So I go to the mall with Dominick, come home, and about an hour later he calls me from Marcus's phone saying the car broke down and they need me to come pick them up. My mom let's me go thinking it's one of my girl friends. When he got in the car I asked him how many numbers he got just messin around. And he showed me all the numbers in his phone and told me who all the girls were. Tiera is in there as "My Baby" of course. And he said don't even get mad... But I was already mad. So his friends are always touching and messing with me to make him mad. Me and Paris locked him out of the car and he said aww you gon choose Paris over me? I said are you really talking when you still have a girlfriend? So he goes to show me his phone again and how he hasn't talked to Tiera in such and such days. But I wouldn't look to make him mad. I didn't care if he was talking to her or not she was still his girlfriend. Then when it was just us two in the car he says I swear I like you a lot. And some other bullshit that I fed right into apparently. Because I'm not mad anymore. And I kissed him like 5 times.. What the hell is wrong with me. How can I like this kid so much?
Before second semester I'm making him choose. And I just decided earlier today, if he doesn't make the right choice... I'm telling Tiera. Geez that probably makes me a bitch, but oh well..
At least I'll have tangoed at all.
quix·ot·ic (kwĭk-sŏt'ĭk)
adj.
- Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.
The subject is a really good song.