why is it so hard to let go.......
sr vs drake game was interesting..... scouting is always fun..
saw dave...dave is one in my life who has shared those three little words, but in reality they arent exactly little. i cared about dave... i cared about him a lot..dont get me wrong i totally adore my boyfriend and i think those "little" words have become something i often wish i could scream out loud to him whenever i wanted. dave is just someone special to me..
ex boyfriends are hard. i find myself analyzing previous relationships and thinking what went wrong or what could i have done....i end up heart broken but not with dave....dave was different. i ended things with him because i loved him and i was scared. i was scared of giving everything away. everything that i had everything that no guy had been able to take ftom me. i tried to convince myself that i really cared about someone else so it was easier for me to walk away from him... so i did..i walked away and tried to forget him
how could i fool myself to think someone that swept me off my feet since 7th grade would just dissapear.....
tonight i saw dave for the first time in a really long long time. i was surprised dave was surprised.....he played a good game and i knew he looked at me while on the bench, the type of look u give to someone u told u loved... its hard, i love dave not in way i love my boyfriend but in a different sort of way.
i ran away from him... so ill really know what dave and i could have or should have whatever.....
so at the moment im smiling.......because some people will always have a piece of me. he is one them but it makes me laugh because watching him play basketball tonight gave me the closure i need from turning away. it helped me to let go of that guilt. in a weird way, it made me closer to him
who knows? maybe one day we can be friends....