(no subject)
i finally fell off to sleep around 9 this morning. erica called me around 11:30 and wanted to go to courtyard, i told her to wait awhile because i was supposed to wait for mom to get home before i left. well she went to the bookstore and said she didn't want to drive all the way back to her house so she came over. i felt kind of sick before i left but we left anyhow. i had an iced black&white mocha & a tuna sandwich at courtyard. then we went shopping and i got two pairs of jeans. i almost got a really pretty shirt but it was expensive and there's no way in hell i'd pay more than 15 dollars for a shirt haha. that's just me i guess. cheap.
then i came home & my uncle stopped by. i had to take my eyebrow ring out, and then i couldn't get it back in. so i called erica to come over and help me put it back in, and asked her to bring the books she got from the library under my name. right before she called me to let me know she was on her way i got the ring back in. she left here and went to see chris and i went to the library. i find the library to be relaxing so i hung around for awhile. i checked out four books. i've already finished reading one. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. it's one of those books that you start reading and you can't put it down. it's great. i recommend it to anyone who's ever been raped at a young age & had to learn to build their personality around that. the stages that come with being a rape survivor. the denial. the muteness. the depression. the self injury. the feelings of worthlessness. and finally the recovery. it really opened me up and made me realize that it may take some time but you can let go of past events. you will always have to live with what happened and you can't run away from it or make it go away. you just have to relearn how to grow.
now i'm commiting the nightly routine. coffee, music, and good conversation.
i'll probably update again later.
then i came home & my uncle stopped by. i had to take my eyebrow ring out, and then i couldn't get it back in. so i called erica to come over and help me put it back in, and asked her to bring the books she got from the library under my name. right before she called me to let me know she was on her way i got the ring back in. she left here and went to see chris and i went to the library. i find the library to be relaxing so i hung around for awhile. i checked out four books. i've already finished reading one. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. it's one of those books that you start reading and you can't put it down. it's great. i recommend it to anyone who's ever been raped at a young age & had to learn to build their personality around that. the stages that come with being a rape survivor. the denial. the muteness. the depression. the self injury. the feelings of worthlessness. and finally the recovery. it really opened me up and made me realize that it may take some time but you can let go of past events. you will always have to live with what happened and you can't run away from it or make it go away. you just have to relearn how to grow.
now i'm commiting the nightly routine. coffee, music, and good conversation.
i'll probably update again later.