Healing is a slow and painful process

[sexytarawitch]

My dreams were filled with nightmares, I didn’t have one moment peace since I shut my eyes. I spent half the night crying into my pillow and trying to keep silent. I didn’t want to disturb Lindsey in any way, just me being here did that enough as it was

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[sexytarawitch]

I couldn't help but grin as he went on about his guitar. He loved it and it showed, I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. Here he was, showing me his passion and everything and I can't even show him mine. I don't know if I can or not or if I'm just afraid to, I dont' want him to run away.

Everything's so fragile now that if I lost him...I'd surely break.

Letting go of his hand I nodded and walked around the back, humming softly to the song that was playing on the speakers. I wondered if there was a magick shop around here that I could pretend to be curious about and see what his reaction would be. I don't like the idea of being deciving but I want to see if I can tell him. I think - at least hope - that I can tell him anything and he'd be ok with it, but I don't want him to get upset. That's the last thing I wanted.

I leaned back against the wall, crossing my arms and watching as he went around, picking up the things he wanted, he reminded me like a kid in a candy store. "Got what you came looking for?" I asked when he moved over to me and took my hand again. "You don't have to rush you know," I gave his hand a small squeeze. "I'm in no hurry." As long as I spent time with him I was ok, it kept the rest of the world from crashing in on me.

[theurbancowboy]

I gave her a nod, "Less time I spend in here the less money I spend, it's probably a good thing to leave quickly though Mike may not agree."

I pulled her over to the counter and introduced her to Mike. He gave her an appraising gaze and winked at me. The jerk, it was all in good fun, it's not like he'd ever seen me with a woman before. I wasn't the type to share things with random girls.

He was polite and we left pretty quickly, I led her down around to the otherside of the building.

"I just want to see if David's at work. He's my best friend; I want you to meet him."

I wondered idly if it was a good idea to take her in the Muse. I didn't think she was the judgemental type, but you could never tell how people reacted to things they didn't understand.

We entered the shop and the thick smell of insence littered the air. I'd been brought up a nice baptist boy but the vibe in the Magic shop really made me feel good. It was weird the places you meet the important people in your life.

"David's a witch, I actually met him here one day when I stumbled in accidentally, but I come here enough now that it's like a small comfort."

[sexytarawitch]

He lead me to another store and I willingly followed, feeling and smelling something so familuar that it almost felt like home. I nervously licked my lips and eyed him carefully as he lead me into a store with 'Muse' written on the door.

I blinked and looked up at him when he said his friend was a witch and if I wasn't holding onto his hand I don't know if I would have gone skipping through the store or passed out from relief. "A w-witch?" I licked my lips and eyed him slowly. "That's...That's ok with you?" I couldn't help but sound a bit hopeful when I spoke. I held my hand out and started to idily run my fingers over the velvet clothed table before running over a small statue in the center.

Licking my lips I held his hand still and pulled him over to some of the charms and ran my fingers over them, looking behind me to look at him. "None of this bothers you?" I asked again biting my lip. Could I be this lucky? Please let me be this lucky.

[theurbancowboy]

I shrugged and eyed her. Why did it matter if ... Oh.

"No, I mean at first I didn't really understand any of it because I'd been taught one way of thinking and one way only. But I'd never really thought about it before I met him, I'm not so sure I completely believe in everything but it all makes a lot of sense. So no, it doesn't bother me."

I gave her a smile as her eyes lit up.

"I'm guessing you were worried that if you told me you were a witch I'd freak out?"

I smiled and kissed her forehead, "I'm not, now I know for sure you and David will get along. In fact he'll probably try to steal you away from me."

[sexytarawitch]

My eyes lit up and it felt like it was christmas or something even better when I listened to him babble on and tell me that it was ok, that he was ok with it.

He kissed me again and even though his lips touched my forehead I could almost swear I felt them against my lips. I smiled up at him and opened my eyes, letting them meet his. "He won't." I murmured to his comment about David stealing me away.

In my heart I knew it. It's only been a week - not even - and I know that Lindsey was in my heart. Maybe not love but he was there and I didn't want him out.

I held onto his hand as I walked around the store, touching and looking at everything that I could. I wanted to buy everything in sight but that would be greedy and not to mention rude. I nervously bit my lip and picked up a few things that I could use to make that mixture Lindsey used on my face last night, it would help with the bruising still.

Stopping I looked up at him and tucked my hair behind my ear. "I know you're ok with it but um do you uh care if I get um s-some things..." If he didn't want me doing spells or anything at the house - not that I did many - it was ok with me, I could always come down here if I needed to.

[theurbancowboy]

"Buy out the store if you want, David's not here so he can't help you find things, and Ms. Langley's a little strange, but I'm betting you can find whatever you need or want."

I gave her another smile. Maybe she was worried I wouldn't want this stuff in my apartment.

"Seriously Tara, my place is yours anything you want to do there, or get for it I'm completely fine with. Unless it's a guy shaped accessory that isn't me."

I winked at her and tugged on her hair lightly.

And I thought I'd been giddy in the music shop. Apparently she wasn't used to being accepted so easily. I wondered where she learned it all from, and if she'd had to keep it all a secret from her family. They didn't seem like the type to approve of witch-craft. Usually it didn't seem like it was anything more than wishful thinking, but I'd learned through David that people needed something to believe in.

Plus, It never seemed wrong or bad, so I was alright with it.

[sexytarawitch]

I nodded, a bit disappointed his friend wasn't here for me to meet, but there'd be other times. "Ok, I just wanted...I just wanted to know it was ok." I smiled and slowly slipped my hand from his, buzzing around the store quietly and picking up a few needed things. Mostly for a warding off spell in case my father and brother got posessive. I couldn't bare the thought of anything happening to Linsey because of me.

Glancing back at Lindsey he was watching me and I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled at him, feeling myself relax a bit more. I had to guess he wondered what was going on and where I knew this all from, I couldn't wait to tell him - slowly of course - but it seemed like I had someone that would accept me and what I liked to do and I couldn't wait to share it with him. Maybe he'll let me teach him the tinkerbell lights like mamma taught me.

"H-hi." I smiled at the lady behind the counter, putting my things down and pulling some money out of my pocket. "I-I'd like to get these please..." I bit my lip and fiddiled with the money in my hands, wondering if I got everything I needed so far.

"Do you need anything else miss?" I looked up at the woman and with a tight lipped smile I shook my head, knowing that I could always come back if and when I needed to. "Very well then," She glanced over at Lindsey who started to walk towards me. "Is he yours? With you I mean?" She questioned softly.

Smiling and looking up at him I nodded. "Yeah, he's mine." I murmured and blushed, handing her a bill.

[theurbancowboy]

I came up next to her as she said the words to Mrs. Langely. The old woman gave me a warm smile, "Has David met her yet?"

I shook my head and she just nodded, like she understood something or knew something we didn't. I wasn't lying when I said she was strange, but it wasn't a creepy kind of strange, she just seemed to know things, or thought she knew things anyway.

"He's been waiting for you for a while now child," she said to Tara, handing her back some change.

Tara just blushed and I rested my hand on the small of her back. I gave Mrs. Langely a wink and led Tara away from the counter and out the door.

"Told you she was strange."

[sexytarawitch]

I took my change and blushed deeply, knowing maybe even slightly what Mrs. Langely was saying. "Oh..." I bit my lip and took my bags as we headed out the door.

Warmth ran up my spine from where his hand was and I shook my head at him. "Not strange, she's a seer of sorts." I told him, tucking my hair behind my ear. "That glazed look she gets in her eyes when she looks at someone is when she's really looking at them, their aura's." I murmured, gently slipping my hand into his and lacing my fingers again.

I looked at him and smiled as we walked down the street, my eyes set on a little vintage shop on the corner. "I wonder if she was right..." It really did make me wonder, had he been looking for me? Waiting for me? Was I his match? The idea of it stired up emotions in me I couldn't exactly place but none of them was unwelcome.

"Can we go in here?" I asked, looking at him when we got to the shop, my eyes glancing at the windows at what they had inside.

[theurbancowboy]

A seer huh? That could explain quite a lot, but there was so much I could think back to, little comments here and there. I'd have to think on that later, Tara's smaller hand in mine brought me back to the moment.

Moments I wasn't going to ignore.

"She was right," I squeezed her hand.

We kept walking and Tara noticed the small shop where I was inevitably taking her, it made me smile, she knew exactly where I was taking her without realizing it.

"Anywhere you want," I smiled and she led me into the store.

[sexytarawitch]

I grinned back at him and walked into the store, my hand in his as I started looking around at the racks. I was never into fashion or caring much of what I wore but a part of me wanted to care now.

Biting my lip I slowly slipped my hand from his and started to look at a few things on one of the racks. I felt comfortable here and with Lindsey that I could feel myself relaxing.

"S-see anything you like?" I looked up and smiled at him as I pulled a cream colored poet shirt from one of the racks, placing it over the long sleeved V-neck shirt already in my hands.

[theurbancowboy]

I smiled at her, "Of course I do." She blushed, but it was because I hadn't glanced at the clothes once, my eyes were fixed on her. I might be trying to be a gentleman, I might know that she doesn't need some guy trying to worm his way into her heart, but it doesn't mean I'm going to hide my interest.

I am not a saint. Far from it in fact. I'm lucky I have no contact with any of my siblings, I might just have some competition.

Tara was giving me a look and I just smiled and focused on the shirt she was holding up. "Well it's nice, but I'm not the one who has to like it, you are."

[sexytarawitch]

He was always complimenting me. That was so new in terms of...well everything. Nobody ever said things to me like he did, ever. A small part of me loved them but the rest of me was saying I was being too proud about them and I shouldn't be so willing to accept false compliments when men - all men - want really nothing more then for a woman...

Stop that. I have to stop that, that's my father's way of thinking and I can't think like that. Things are different now, different here. Lindsey knows - some - things about me and he's still here, still being sweet.

Baby steps, that's what this was all about, baby steps.

"Yes, that's true." I smiled and pulled another color that was more green and laid it over the other shirt's in my arm. "But you're the only one I've got here, you do have to see me." I blushed at my own words and quietly walked down and over towards the jeans, smiling to myself as I pulled out a pair with wide flares at the bottom that I fell in love with.

But the price tag made me put it back. There were other things to get and spending that much on jeans, I couldn't rationalize.

I turned around and smiled up at him when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Do you um want to go? I'm almost done..." He looked deep in thought for a moment and I wondered what was on his mind, I turned slowly and looked into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

[theurbancowboy]

She turned around and quietly asked if I wanted to go and while I couldn’t lie and say this was my idea of a fantastic day, I didn’t mind watching her find things and see things and realize that she wasn’t going to get criticized for being human.

I shook my head no and my eyes were riveted to her lips. I tried to remind myself that Tara did not need me pawing at her; she needed me as a friend and I needed to be patient and let things happen on their own.

I knew they would, I could tell she was interested in me as more than just a friend even if she didn’t quite realize it yet. But I was her support, literally the only thing she had to lean on at the moment and my mind was so far from the range of noble I should be shot. She asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t take it, I was a dammed man.

I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t think beyond my hand moving up to cup her cheek and my thumb slowly sliding across her lips. I noticed the half stunned look in her eyes as she looked back at me. I leaned down, slow enough for her to pull away and she was either too shocked to do so or just plain didn’t want to. I’m betting it’s a little bit of both. I kissed her lightly at first, a simple pressing of my lips to hers, then I lightly trailed my tongue across her lips, she opened her mouth, maybe in surprise maybe in invitation but I kissed her deeper, massaging her tongue with mine and letting my hand angle her head so I could taste more.

I pulled back, realizing we were in a store and I probably shouldn’t have kissed her like that, especially here and now. I pressed my lips to hers again for just a second and then pressed my forehead against hers, my hand dropping to her elbow.

“I know I should probably apologize for doing that, but I can’t. I’ve wanted to for days.”

[sexytarawitch]

When he touched my cheek my heart started to pound even harder in my chest, there was a look in his eyes that scared me but it wasn't enough to make me turn away from him.

His lips taste sweet against my own and I wasn't even sure how to react to him so I go with it, letting him take the lead and I kiss him back, dropping the items out of my hands and placing them on his arms. I could feel my body shake slightly as the kiss got deeper, I've never experienced something like this before, I wasn't sure how to react till he finally pulled away, letting us both breathe.

My breathing was hard and ragged, like I was running a marathon for days before. "Don't..." I whispered, shaking my head before pulling back and looking up at him. "S-so...so have I..." But it always felt wrong to want you like I do; there is that big age difference problem.

A woman cleared her throat and gave us both a pointed look and I pulled back from him, my cheeks flaming red and I bent down to pick up the clothes that I'd picked out that fell during the kiss. "I-I picked...I'm almost..." I felt too flustered to say anything more and I stood up, turning back and pulling those expensive pants from the rack before walking up to the counter. "I-I'm ready..." I whispered, fumbling in my bag for my money and hoping that nobody else was staring at us.

[theurbancowboy]

I smiled down at her as she told me not to apologize. Well hot damn, I guess that was the right plan of action, or at least not quite the wrong plan.

I glared at the woman who was staring at us with a scowl, I almost told her to take a picture cause it lasts longer but I didn't really think Tara would appreciate having more attention brought to us. So I kept my mouth shut and tried not to be amused by how flustered Tara was. I didn't quite get embarrassed easily but that was beyond the point.

I followed her to the counter and turned on the charm with the woman who opened the shop. She was a older and I'd seen her around the neighborhood coffee shop a few times.

Once we were finished Tara and I headed out to my truck and I put the bags in the back before opening her door for her.

"Your chariot my lady."