I wish he knew what I'll never say...

[__abandoned__]

I wish he knew how much it hurts me when he smiles... or maybe it angers me... I don't want him to be happy with out me..yes I know that's selfish... But for the first time in my life I don't care.. I would give anything for him.. I would change anyway possible for him.. why can't he see that... :'( and if I can't have him why do I feel like I need him.. it.. just doesn't seem fair...

I feel like I've been denied a purpose in this life,
why am I here?