(no subject)
So my mom is in rehab and has been for 14 days. I talked to her the other day and she actually sounds like she has changed/wants to change..but we never really know until she gets out..September 5th. I have really high hopes for her, and I really hope she changes. I want to have a relationship with my mom because she's really all I have. If she's not sober, we can't have a good relationship.
I can't say much right now though, I am so disappointed in myself. when I drink lately I get completely trashed, and do stupid stuff.. I insisted on driving my car home from katies to my apartment last Thursday even though she tried to stop me, and I wrecked my car. I don't even really know what happened. I just opened my eyes and my car was spinning and hitting a light pole. I am so fucking lucky that nothing happened to me other then hitting my head. It could have been so much worse, I was so scared. I'm so lucky no cars were in my way, or no cops came. I somehow managed to still make it home, and also scared away the boy I liked. for the like 10th time. I don't know, I haven't drank since that night and am honestly wanting to quit drinking. or learn how to limit myself. I don't want to end up like my mother.
In other news my car is at the shop getting fixed so I'm using my aunts BMW, I start back to work on Monday at 10am, and school on Tuesday at 11am. My life is getting back on track. My dads two years of being gone passed on august 10th..god time flies so fast, I wonder how different my life would be right now if he was still here.
I can't say much right now though, I am so disappointed in myself. when I drink lately I get completely trashed, and do stupid stuff.. I insisted on driving my car home from katies to my apartment last Thursday even though she tried to stop me, and I wrecked my car. I don't even really know what happened. I just opened my eyes and my car was spinning and hitting a light pole. I am so fucking lucky that nothing happened to me other then hitting my head. It could have been so much worse, I was so scared. I'm so lucky no cars were in my way, or no cops came. I somehow managed to still make it home, and also scared away the boy I liked. for the like 10th time. I don't know, I haven't drank since that night and am honestly wanting to quit drinking. or learn how to limit myself. I don't want to end up like my mother.
In other news my car is at the shop getting fixed so I'm using my aunts BMW, I start back to work on Monday at 10am, and school on Tuesday at 11am. My life is getting back on track. My dads two years of being gone passed on august 10th..god time flies so fast, I wonder how different my life would be right now if he was still here.