(no subject)
Dear dearest Morgane,
I can't believe you're already leaving.
In fact, I tried as hard as I could to make myself forget that you would eventually get on that airplane &go away.
Away from me, for one whole month.
Leave for warmer seasons, sunnier mornings &breathtaking shorelines.
&here I am, reminiscent, in my cold &dark room.
&as egocentric as I am, as selfish as you know me &as childish as you (still) love me, I wish you could stay.
Because without you, these days, it seems like the sun never rises in my blue sky turning grey.
Without you, everything looks dull.
I don't smile enough, I don't laugh enough. Mostly, I guess I'm not strong enough.
&without you, I am scared.
Because you aren't there to protect me, like you always did.
I know I'll handle it. I know I can still count on you.
&I promise I won't get into too many messes without calling you out.
Even if I'm the one with the advices, even if I constantly put you back in line, I still look up to you.
From time to time.
You taught me a lot, gave me style lessons &fed me up with your cuteness.
When I feel like giving up, you motivate me by telling me I can do nearly everything if I want to &TRY to.
When I am terrified, you dismiss my fears &waste me in laughter.
Sometimes, I whine for no reasons. I act like 5, I scream, I kick &get mad at you.
I slam doors. Most of the time, your car's passenger door. I make your alarm ring.
I tell you what to do, I give you the cold shoulder &you end up telling me I'm being a pain in the ass.
Right. We fight, we cry, we laugh. That's just what &how we do.
But most of all, we love eachother.
Our friendship is immeasurable, inexplicable. What we share is, I believe, quite the same.
Our boyfriends don't seem to get it neither.
Mine wonders how come I always miss you when you are not around.
&yours gets jealous when we spend too much time together.
Plus, he doesn't understand when &how we got so close.
But the thing is, they're both annoyed because you have been my girlfriend &so have I been to you for a much longer period than we've been with them.
I know you're only leaving for a few weeks.
But who will I have BNQ hangouts with on weekdays?
Who will take me out for diner at the Commensal &Rockaberry?
Who will pick me up at school &hold my hand at the doctor's?
Who will comb my hair &wear gold highheels with me?
Who will tell me to shut up when I'm being bitchy or (excessively) complaining?
Who will drop by on Sunday mornings at 9 before going to work because your hair is all worn out &your makeup is messy?
No one. Because no one will ever replace you, for the simple reason that no one's as amazing as you.
&no one will ever show up, grab me by the arm, look at me straight in the eye &shout "STRAIGHTEN UP, little soldier."
&next, when we'll both feel depressed, I will have no one to shake &tell:
"I didn't have the nerve &strength to empty my suitcase yet, ever since I got home.
So you will have to help me out with this.
You're going to put all my clothes on a pile on my bed &I'll put them back in the cupboards.
&after that, when we'll be done, you'll drive us to your place.
&I'm going to give you a hand with your packing."
Subsequently, there will be no one to smile back at me like you did.
No one to give me that grateful look &thankful nod.
&I will have no one to conclude with by saying "You know, that's what friends are for."
Then, on Tuesday, you will leave for 7days, to get back to your boyfriend, friends &brother.
The people you call your family.
You'll have fun, crazy adventures, &here, in Montreal, you'll be missed.
I will countdown the days until I might see you again, before you leave for 21more days.
But I won't be able to go to the airport with your mom to say goodbye.
I wish I could make it, but I won't &we both have figured out that it's better off this way.
Otherwise, I wouldn't let you go. I would keep you in my arms forever.
But I won't. &you'll leave for Tahiti.
Fun times ahead, you know it. New friends, culture shock, fascination.
Because even if you're anxious, even if it scares you too, you're excited.
The 3of you have dreamed about it for years, now.
&I can already imagine you with your eyes wide open, filled with amusement, joy &glare, under your gooffy &oversized sunglasses I bought you.
&afterwards, hopefully, you'll mange to miss me, just as much as I will.
You'll come home again, back to me, &everything will be fine, as we left them.
We'll be just fine, I swear. As long as we have eachtother.
Because together, we invent ourselves warmer seasons &sunnier mornings, don't we?
Yeah, that's basically what we do best.
I can't believe you're already leaving.
In fact, I tried as hard as I could to make myself forget that you would eventually get on that airplane &go away.
Away from me, for one whole month.
Leave for warmer seasons, sunnier mornings &breathtaking shorelines.
&here I am, reminiscent, in my cold &dark room.
&as egocentric as I am, as selfish as you know me &as childish as you (still) love me, I wish you could stay.
Because without you, these days, it seems like the sun never rises in my blue sky turning grey.
Without you, everything looks dull.
I don't smile enough, I don't laugh enough. Mostly, I guess I'm not strong enough.
&without you, I am scared.
Because you aren't there to protect me, like you always did.
I know I'll handle it. I know I can still count on you.
&I promise I won't get into too many messes without calling you out.
Even if I'm the one with the advices, even if I constantly put you back in line, I still look up to you.
From time to time.
You taught me a lot, gave me style lessons &fed me up with your cuteness.
When I feel like giving up, you motivate me by telling me I can do nearly everything if I want to &TRY to.
When I am terrified, you dismiss my fears &waste me in laughter.
Sometimes, I whine for no reasons. I act like 5, I scream, I kick &get mad at you.
I slam doors. Most of the time, your car's passenger door. I make your alarm ring.
I tell you what to do, I give you the cold shoulder &you end up telling me I'm being a pain in the ass.
Right. We fight, we cry, we laugh. That's just what &how we do.
But most of all, we love eachother.
Our friendship is immeasurable, inexplicable. What we share is, I believe, quite the same.
Our boyfriends don't seem to get it neither.
Mine wonders how come I always miss you when you are not around.
&yours gets jealous when we spend too much time together.
Plus, he doesn't understand when &how we got so close.
But the thing is, they're both annoyed because you have been my girlfriend &so have I been to you for a much longer period than we've been with them.
I know you're only leaving for a few weeks.
But who will I have BNQ hangouts with on weekdays?
Who will take me out for diner at the Commensal &Rockaberry?
Who will pick me up at school &hold my hand at the doctor's?
Who will comb my hair &wear gold highheels with me?
Who will tell me to shut up when I'm being bitchy or (excessively) complaining?
Who will drop by on Sunday mornings at 9 before going to work because your hair is all worn out &your makeup is messy?
No one. Because no one will ever replace you, for the simple reason that no one's as amazing as you.
&no one will ever show up, grab me by the arm, look at me straight in the eye &shout "STRAIGHTEN UP, little soldier."
&next, when we'll both feel depressed, I will have no one to shake &tell:
"I didn't have the nerve &strength to empty my suitcase yet, ever since I got home.
So you will have to help me out with this.
You're going to put all my clothes on a pile on my bed &I'll put them back in the cupboards.
&after that, when we'll be done, you'll drive us to your place.
&I'm going to give you a hand with your packing."
Subsequently, there will be no one to smile back at me like you did.
No one to give me that grateful look &thankful nod.
&I will have no one to conclude with by saying "You know, that's what friends are for."
Then, on Tuesday, you will leave for 7days, to get back to your boyfriend, friends &brother.
The people you call your family.
You'll have fun, crazy adventures, &here, in Montreal, you'll be missed.
I will countdown the days until I might see you again, before you leave for 21more days.
But I won't be able to go to the airport with your mom to say goodbye.
I wish I could make it, but I won't &we both have figured out that it's better off this way.
Otherwise, I wouldn't let you go. I would keep you in my arms forever.
But I won't. &you'll leave for Tahiti.
Fun times ahead, you know it. New friends, culture shock, fascination.
Because even if you're anxious, even if it scares you too, you're excited.
The 3of you have dreamed about it for years, now.
&I can already imagine you with your eyes wide open, filled with amusement, joy &glare, under your gooffy &oversized sunglasses I bought you.
&afterwards, hopefully, you'll mange to miss me, just as much as I will.
You'll come home again, back to me, &everything will be fine, as we left them.
We'll be just fine, I swear. As long as we have eachtother.
Because together, we invent ourselves warmer seasons &sunnier mornings, don't we?
Yeah, that's basically what we do best.