this is why:
Although I seem to start a lot of things with this statement, I shall do it once again, "those of you who know me". What does that mean anyway, no matter how well you know me one day we are bound to become strangers or enemies, but if you do currently "know" me you are aware of my greatest phobia:
The loss of loved ones: physically, mentally, figuratively, or any-other-way-that-exists-tivley.
I relived years of my life in a matter of 20 minutes with the help of pictures that allowed time travel and words that were the direct cause of flashbacks I not only viewed in my head but felt in my heart.
There is one phonetic gathering of letters to describe that feeling.
Ouch
Its the norm to change and to love and to lose. But as I was going through the pictures I realized, I used to spend every day of my life with some of these people. They were my best friends, my boyfriends, my family, my everything, and Ive lost them.
They once used to know me, and now we are strangers. And enemies.
My world of simplicity has dissolved with the decay of an outer shell, a body, and the erasing of years due to a faulty memory
How is it so damn easy to love one minute and feel it so passionately and so genuinely and then allow it to crash down around you as an untamable and unconcealable wave emptiness
I mutter that word aloud to myself and to a void of a universe
emptiness...
Emptiness, it struck me so greatly I couldnt breathe,
And I now feel as if Im drowning in that untamable, unconcealable, wave
Im not emotional, just baffled.
I dont want to lose anyone again
And I know it will happen, its bound to,
But there are three people in particular that I want to keep by my side
I have a gut feeling one day I will lose one of you
That is my phobia, my biggest fear, what appears in dreams in the form of nightmares
Losing one of you three.
what i expect from writing this:
*One of you will read this and respond in a way that lets me know, despite everything that just happened, it will all be okay...
*One of you probably won't read this... thus won't respond..i don't mind at all, love isn't measured in words..
*One of you will read this sometime along the way and respond poetically, beautifuly, reassuring me that you will forever be by my side, because from the moment you were there, you never left..... you'll tell me i'm home...
how well do i know you?
The loss of loved ones: physically, mentally, figuratively, or any-other-way-that-exists-tivley.
I relived years of my life in a matter of 20 minutes with the help of pictures that allowed time travel and words that were the direct cause of flashbacks I not only viewed in my head but felt in my heart.
There is one phonetic gathering of letters to describe that feeling.
Ouch
Its the norm to change and to love and to lose. But as I was going through the pictures I realized, I used to spend every day of my life with some of these people. They were my best friends, my boyfriends, my family, my everything, and Ive lost them.
They once used to know me, and now we are strangers. And enemies.
My world of simplicity has dissolved with the decay of an outer shell, a body, and the erasing of years due to a faulty memory
How is it so damn easy to love one minute and feel it so passionately and so genuinely and then allow it to crash down around you as an untamable and unconcealable wave emptiness
I mutter that word aloud to myself and to a void of a universe
emptiness...
Emptiness, it struck me so greatly I couldnt breathe,
And I now feel as if Im drowning in that untamable, unconcealable, wave
Im not emotional, just baffled.
I dont want to lose anyone again
And I know it will happen, its bound to,
But there are three people in particular that I want to keep by my side
I have a gut feeling one day I will lose one of you
That is my phobia, my biggest fear, what appears in dreams in the form of nightmares
Losing one of you three.
what i expect from writing this:
*One of you will read this and respond in a way that lets me know, despite everything that just happened, it will all be okay...
*One of you probably won't read this... thus won't respond..i don't mind at all, love isn't measured in words..
*One of you will read this sometime along the way and respond poetically, beautifuly, reassuring me that you will forever be by my side, because from the moment you were there, you never left..... you'll tell me i'm home...
how well do i know you?