2005 through my eyes.
here's my version of that stupid list of ten things i'd like to say to people. except i'm allowing comments, i'm probably going to mention names and i probably will discuss it again because the majority of these situations are the reason 2006 couldn't come quick enough. so brace yourself kids. if you dislike sarcasm and opinionated writing, just know i warned you.
[1] The Boyfriend - Derek I love you so much. you have made 2005 the most amazing year of my life. looking back I can't believe i ever survived without you. i'm so glad you're not like every other stupid fuckhead guy out there. it's so nice to be in a relationship with someone who truly loves me. thank you so much for believing in me and giving me at least one positive thing to write about from 2005.
[2] The Best Friend - Natalia you will never understand how much you mean to me. everytime i'm sure i won't make it through something, you're there to help me out. but mostly to make me laugh my ass off at one of your stupid jokes. i love our conversations, i love our adventures and outings, and i love us. every since the early years of gradeschool we've been best friends and i hope we stay close over the years because you are a breath of fresh air in this hellhole. hahahah i love you hun! ♥
[3] The Ex-Friend(s) - Thank you all very much for helping me realize something very important to me. the value of friendship which clearly none of you understood. it's nice to finally rid myself of the people who only made my life difficult over the years. either that, or i'm just tired of the fake bond we pretended we had. i hope you can all move on to better things and perhaps never see me again because that would be delightfull. you have created a valuable learning experience that i will continue to learn from as i grow older. bye bye waste of time.
[4] Sonia - We never talk anymore but it doesn't seem to matter all that much to either of us. SKL was a huge load of bullshit, looking back on it. i mean look where we are now? none of us even talk. way to jinx it. but i suppose thats what happens right? we all fall apart and somewhere in between we just stop caring. no hard feelings, no hatrid, just a loss of words.
[5] Lauren - I hope everything is going well for you because it's going fucking great for me. no hard feelings, except that you've spent our entire friendship lying to me. but don't worry about it im used to it. that and i just don't care anymore. you gave me a chance to come back but i turned it down for my own viable reasons which i shouldn't have to repeat. oh well, what are you going to do? all things come to an end and this was ours.
[6] Mandie - I love how you make it extremely obvious that you know nothing about me. i can easily pick out which little part was about me, in CASE you were wondering. but thats me you know, i only use people for their car? hahaha thats humerous considering we've been best friends since the early days of gradeschool. but good try eh? im not sure if you're aware of this but natalia is one of the best things in my life right now because unlike everyone else she doesn't feel the need to hate me because im opinionated. plus the fact that she listens to me and gives a shit about my wellbeing unlike half of the other people i used to surround myself with. you don't know anything about me anymore. and that is not my fault. but for your own sake, at least try a little harder.
[7] Laura - I love you to death and that'll never change. we're family and we have to stick together even if everything else around us is falling apart. you've always been there for me when i needed you and i've always returned the favor. i love you too much to see you get your heart ripped out again. you must have bad taste in guys or something because this pattern must be killing you. i know you and dave are talking again and stuff but please for your own sake just be careful ok? because i remember all the talks we had and the shit he put you through that you couldn't have possibly deserved. put yourself first laura and never settle for any less than you deserve.
[8] Chris - So i heard you dumped your new girlfriend because "things wern't going fast enough." you're a fucking piece of work eh? everytime i see you in the hall i wish i'd never laid eyes on you to begin with. i'm glad you made me realize how much im worth. and hows that gym membership going for ya? sure glad i don't go there anymore. at least i won't have to watch you attempt to be macho by benching 270.
i think im going to stop at eight and be modest.
but here are another two lists i composed.
People I'm glad i met in 2005:
Jeremy
Kara
Melissa
Steph
Nicole
Nicholas
Jesse
All the girls from work
Lyndsay
Meghan
People I don't speak with:
Lauren
Chris
Frank
Steve
Aubrey
Sonia
Becka
Paulette
Alex
TJ
Ryan
Amanda
Dave
Jessica
Jordan
Ashley
Dayna
My New Years Resolution
i'm not going to let anyone hold me back this year
i am who i am
whether you like that or not ♥