(no subject)
I've been contemplating a lot about my life lately. I've been thinking a lot about what career path I would like to venture on. I thought I had it all figured out, I was planning on majoring in Media Arts (Communications) with a concentration in Journalism and a minor in Spanish. Until recently, this was set and decided on, I have started taking a class in the field of Media Arts to see if I like it, and frankly its definately not what I was expecting. I cant say that I absolutely hate it, but I'm not overly excited about it. I've always liked to write, and I've been told that I have a talent for it, but have often wondered if I could like it enough to make a career out of it. I've also recently been thinking of a career in Occupational Therapy. My goal in life was to help people, this seems to be the field to do accomplish that goal. Can I handle it? Basically I'm trying to answer the question of what to do for the rest of my life. What if I make the wrong decision, say if I majored in Media Arts because I want to write, realize that this just isnt for me, and it be too late to change. Yes, I've heard of the people that change careers completely, but I dont want to be one of those people. I'd like to think that I will make my decision and be able to say, this was definately the right choice. I have the minor figured out, but thats not what I was worried about to begin with. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this, everyone I know already knows what they want to do with their lives. Am I the only one in the world that hasnt made up my mind yet? I definately feel like it. I feel like I cant even talk to my parents about it, the fact that I'm scared of making the wrong decision about one of lifes most important questions. I've questioned it so much lately that coming back and questioning it again is making it even more confusing. On a completely different front, is the question of love. I was thinking the other night, if I were to die suddenly, would I have died knowing that I have told everyone I know what I truly feel about them? Definately not. There's a certain person that I have so much to say to, but cant find the right way or the right words to express what I'm feeling towards them. Do you take a risk and face the possibilty of rejection, or do you keep your mouth shut, enjoy what you have now, for fear of saying something could ruin the relationship all together? While thinking that if I died suddenly, would I have lived my life to the fullest, and the answer to that question is again, no. Yes, I've been to some amazing places, made great friends, had some great times. If I've experienced all that, can someone please explain to me why I feel like I'm missing out on my own life? Is it possible for a person to miss out on their own life? So many questions that remain unanswered. This is just me rambling, but I had to get everything out, and writing, even if no one reads this, helps a little.