(no subject)
i'm really nervous by the fact my mom has the oven on self-cleaning. and it's at like 600° or more, cleaning the stuff that has spilled from passed dinners. i don't get how high heat will clean it, but whatever.
i've been really skittish around the thought of fires. the site of fires. or even the smell of smoke. ever since what happened when i was visiting my sister.
everytime i leave the house, i make sure every light is out. i double check both coffee pots. the iron. and the stove. even after i do these things, i'm still freaked out when i'm gone. i worry about Kelsey and Kitty. if there's a fire when no one's home, they're gone. and I don't want to think about that.
i have dreams about me or someone i love dying in a fire. sometimes, i have dreams about that night, and seeing the flames ontop of the dorm. big, huge orange flames that i could see without my glasses on. i hear the girls screaming "someone's trapped in their room!" and i imagine seeing the girl who died trying to get out.
i'm way too paranoid anymore. i used to be scared shitless of burglars or kidnappers. it went from that to kids shooting up the school.(after columbine) it went from that to terrorists. it went from that to the sniper from a couple of years ago in the DC area. i was scared for the longest time, even after they caught them. the month they were running around, i was afraid to walk my dog. i was afraid to go to the grocery store. i was just...scared. and now i'm scared of fires.
i guess fear is just something i'll have to live with, huh?
/end of pointless update.
i've been really skittish around the thought of fires. the site of fires. or even the smell of smoke. ever since what happened when i was visiting my sister.
everytime i leave the house, i make sure every light is out. i double check both coffee pots. the iron. and the stove. even after i do these things, i'm still freaked out when i'm gone. i worry about Kelsey and Kitty. if there's a fire when no one's home, they're gone. and I don't want to think about that.
i have dreams about me or someone i love dying in a fire. sometimes, i have dreams about that night, and seeing the flames ontop of the dorm. big, huge orange flames that i could see without my glasses on. i hear the girls screaming "someone's trapped in their room!" and i imagine seeing the girl who died trying to get out.
i'm way too paranoid anymore. i used to be scared shitless of burglars or kidnappers. it went from that to kids shooting up the school.(after columbine) it went from that to terrorists. it went from that to the sniper from a couple of years ago in the DC area. i was scared for the longest time, even after they caught them. the month they were running around, i was afraid to walk my dog. i was afraid to go to the grocery store. i was just...scared. and now i'm scared of fires.
i guess fear is just something i'll have to live with, huh?
/end of pointless update.