"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" -Plato
Why can't things in my life come together already? When one issue is resolved, another comes up ten times worse.
I think I need some serious retail therapy as soon as I manage to get myself a job.
Too much drama, too much negativity, too much stress and tension.
It is all building up and I feel like I need to make a lot of changes within myself, starting with putting myself first and making sure that no one manages to drag me down with their negativity. I am becoming someone I do not want to be and the only person who can change that is me, so I have to start doing what I want for me, and not sacrificing that in hopes of making other people happy. Anyone who truly cares about me would never want me to sacrifice my happiness in place of theirs, I firmly believe there is always a way of going about things in which everyone can be happy and I have to start fulfilling that belief in my everyday life. I have become this intense, over-analytical, miserable bitch, letting anything and everything get under my skin, but I'm not letting that happen anymore.
Life is too short, I want to enjoy it, I want to take something positive from everything, even things like sitting at home on a Saturday night. I have been so negative, so pessimistic, so insecure, and in combination with everything else going on in my life, I have become the opposite of what I want to be. I have lost sight of what's important, what I want, and I have lost sight of the bigger picture, that all these small things I have been fussing over mean nothing in the long run so why have I been wasting my time and my effort bitching about them?
Today is a new day. Just like every other day, it is a chance to start over, learn to breathe, take things in stride, and remember to love live for every second is one I will never get back. No more crying over the little issues, no more bitching about insignificant details.
I want to stop caring about what other people want, make myself happy, put my happiness as my main objective, and the rest will all fall into place once that has been done. I'm not letting anything hold me back anymore, it's my life, my decisions, and my control, so no one is telling me otherwise anymore, no one is responsible for my actions, choices, or behaviour but me, so I need to start owning up and changing my life for the better, towards what is going to make me ultimately the most happy.
I am still looking forward to warm weather, picnics, bike rides, beaches, cottages, and summer fashion. Looking forward to being independent, being successful and getting a job. Having money and the inevitable increase in freedom that comes with it. Looking forward to a new outlook, a new positive attitude, and a new me. It's like new year's in March.