This is how you remind of what I really am.
This entry will probally get the least comments of all because it's not some picture post or something wity. The more I think of myself, the less I get. Sometimes, I wish that everything was differnt. I always find myself dreaming old dreams, and wishing old wishes. I always picture myself in a sittuation and i think of how i would carry myself when it happens, well when that sittuation does happen, i don't carry myself like that at all. I honestly have no confidence unless I look in the mirror and think "ok you look sort of pretty today" but one bad comment, one hurtful word changes it. I never find myself saying " ok you can do this i know you can". I've never considered msyelf a strong person emotionally, and I know that other people know it. Riverviews school year is almost over and let me tell you, it has been such an experience, i have honestly not met any more trash in one place, im not talking about my friends ovbiusly but i've never had a girl hate me based on what i wear,dress,act, or talk like. I've never had someone hate me because they think im ugly and i've never had anyone hate me because i have more money them. I know that most people haven't read this far but isn't this the point of lj? to journal? I know that it's easy for me to just bottle up, or push away my emotions and never deal with them, but i've come to find that doing that is no good. I can't stand the way I look yet I can't get enough of my reflection. I realized this was not because i think im beautiful, not because im narsosicit, but every single time i look into a mirror i analyze myself. Everytime i look into a mirror i hear, every single bitchy comment thats been said. I don't think I'll ever get over this part of my life. But as of right now, I'm letting it go. No matter how un-confident I am, i will smile and pretand you don't bother me.