(no subject)
i am on the edge of insanity.
i can't sleep because i cry.
& when i cry my eyes start to sting.
i fall asleep to corny WB shows,
instead of the image of your perfections.
i want to talk to you without doubts of our relationship.
it's my fault, & i know it,
& i cry whenever i talk to you because
i'm a failure to people who believe in me.
i have noone to lean on because i'm afraid you won't
support my weight.
i want to pack up my bags & not see you for weeks,
but i know that i am nowhere near happy without you.
i'm so irritated at the fact that we don't know what true love even means.
you can't call me without having a tone,
& i can't talk to you without getting annoyed.
did you call me on your break today?
no.
did you say that you would?
yes.
& was i happy about that.
what do you think.
& through it all, i can still say
i love you.
& when you fail, & forget to say it,
or have resentment in your heart & don't on purpose,
i know.
i know everything you think, & feel
because ive felt it in so many ways.
i want to love you like i did before,
& sleep with you hoping the night will go by slow
& you'll stay awake just to keep me company.
i want & expect too much from you,
& i feel like you don't even love me anymore.
i'm not even mad at you, i'm sad at you.
i have no feelings anymore & you can be mean to me,
what could i even say to defend myself?
i havent seen you for 3 or 4 days,
& if you make it 5 i swear i will cry,
& i wont answer the phone,
& ill give you more space,
because obviously thats what you need.
you dont need me, or my time anymore,
you dont need my complaints, or the things i say to help you.