one week.
it's been one week in 12 hours exactly, that's when adam left us.
my words can't begin to describe the love i've seen over the weekend people have for adam. it's overwelming. i went to church today, the church in which adam attended for 14 years..the pastor came up to me and said to me "i know you & adam were close, and this is going to be rough on you, adam never had a sister, but i guess he really did, didn't he?" it was that moment, i lost it. me WERE brother & sister. i know people are praying me for me, and i feel their hope coming to me, and i feel adam giving me strength to be ok. none the less, i want my cousin back. i start summer school tomorrow, that was one thing adam made clear to me.."you have to finish school nikki." i feel like i shouldn't go back to school so soon, but it's what adam would want from me. i keep searching for answers why the most amazing person in my life was taken away from me so soon, and pastors can't give me the answers. i feel like when adam fell off that skateboard, he knew what plans God have for him. the day adam passed...he went to church hours before he died and was touched by the service, after church was dismissed he said "i'm motivated" he said he was motivated to work for God. adam was a great christian, he didn't preach at people, but he had faith, and i admire him for that, i admire adam for a lot of things. i want to change who i am completely..i have to turn to God, because i simply want to see my cousin again, and i want to say "i've missed you." now i'm motivated too. adam was perfect. if you think that's not possible..you're wrong. he showed respect to everyone, he loved his family, he cherished his friends, he made me laugh every second i was around him..
today when i was at adam's house i kept looking at the table thinking adam was there and he would laugh and then i would laugh because HIS laugh was contagious, if something awkward happened, i would look at adam, he would laugh, and then i would lose it..
as much as i want this all to be a dream, it's not. my cousin is in heaven, and he is my angel now. he knows that i'm lost, and i'm certain he will help me through this, i'll never not miss him, i'll never not think about him, i'll NEVER lose my love for him. my love for adam, will keep me alive.
my words can't begin to describe the love i've seen over the weekend people have for adam. it's overwelming. i went to church today, the church in which adam attended for 14 years..the pastor came up to me and said to me "i know you & adam were close, and this is going to be rough on you, adam never had a sister, but i guess he really did, didn't he?" it was that moment, i lost it. me WERE brother & sister. i know people are praying me for me, and i feel their hope coming to me, and i feel adam giving me strength to be ok. none the less, i want my cousin back. i start summer school tomorrow, that was one thing adam made clear to me.."you have to finish school nikki." i feel like i shouldn't go back to school so soon, but it's what adam would want from me. i keep searching for answers why the most amazing person in my life was taken away from me so soon, and pastors can't give me the answers. i feel like when adam fell off that skateboard, he knew what plans God have for him. the day adam passed...he went to church hours before he died and was touched by the service, after church was dismissed he said "i'm motivated" he said he was motivated to work for God. adam was a great christian, he didn't preach at people, but he had faith, and i admire him for that, i admire adam for a lot of things. i want to change who i am completely..i have to turn to God, because i simply want to see my cousin again, and i want to say "i've missed you." now i'm motivated too. adam was perfect. if you think that's not possible..you're wrong. he showed respect to everyone, he loved his family, he cherished his friends, he made me laugh every second i was around him..
today when i was at adam's house i kept looking at the table thinking adam was there and he would laugh and then i would laugh because HIS laugh was contagious, if something awkward happened, i would look at adam, he would laugh, and then i would lose it..
as much as i want this all to be a dream, it's not. my cousin is in heaven, and he is my angel now. he knows that i'm lost, and i'm certain he will help me through this, i'll never not miss him, i'll never not think about him, i'll NEVER lose my love for him. my love for adam, will keep me alive.