(no subject)
Life as it is right now, right in front of me, real as can be, is good. It's memories that ruin today's moments. So it is fortunate that the past is finally starting to leave me alone. I've lived in nostalgia for as long as I can remember. But nothing will ever be good enough again if you go by the memories.
So I'm just happy I have each day, nothing more and nothing less. I can focus on the present, but still look forward to the future, and be grateful that the past happened.
I do have a lot to look forward to.
My license.
My car.
Eighteen.
Monroe.
Fish tattoo.
Pouring beer.
No curfews.
Spending the night out.
Road trips.
College.
Moving out.
Voting.
Getting a real job.
But I'm not living life in the future either, I'm very satisfied with the here and now. I'm surrounded by great people who are all different and brilliant in their own way. I have people to talk about politics with, people to snuggle with, people to drive around and smoke cigarettes and talk with. Best of all, I've got myself and I love feeling so productive. I'm working five days a week and getting all my school stuff done. I'm slowly but surely working on my college applications. I just feel so fulfilled lately.
Oh, and I was so excited when Brittany Hamilton called me on Saturday night. She even did our dance when we were on the phone. I hella want to road trip down to Santa Barbara when I turn eighteen. I miss her hellof and it was weird, because I had been thinking about her lately. Thinking about how strange it is that I should meet some of my closest friends working at some lousy pizza place. I'm very grateful for that.
So I'm just happy I have each day, nothing more and nothing less. I can focus on the present, but still look forward to the future, and be grateful that the past happened.
I do have a lot to look forward to.
My license.
My car.
Eighteen.
Monroe.
Fish tattoo.
Pouring beer.
No curfews.
Spending the night out.
Road trips.
College.
Moving out.
Voting.
Getting a real job.
But I'm not living life in the future either, I'm very satisfied with the here and now. I'm surrounded by great people who are all different and brilliant in their own way. I have people to talk about politics with, people to snuggle with, people to drive around and smoke cigarettes and talk with. Best of all, I've got myself and I love feeling so productive. I'm working five days a week and getting all my school stuff done. I'm slowly but surely working on my college applications. I just feel so fulfilled lately.
Oh, and I was so excited when Brittany Hamilton called me on Saturday night. She even did our dance when we were on the phone. I hella want to road trip down to Santa Barbara when I turn eighteen. I miss her hellof and it was weird, because I had been thinking about her lately. Thinking about how strange it is that I should meet some of my closest friends working at some lousy pizza place. I'm very grateful for that.