because something good ended. but something great began
mmk. haven't updated in a while and wow have things changed. I just got back from Camp Dearborn for a week. It was a blast. Nathan, Josh, and Dakota happened to be there that week too. It was sooo much funn. Jordan, Dayana, Kendall, and Joanna all came out to hang out too. Nathan was right, though, a week away from drama, supposibly, turned out to be one of the most dramatic. :/ ... what can you do though...we're 15 and drama is going to happen. Things are okay now, i think. a little messed up for a couple of reasons..but they will be ok...cause i realized that i have the best friends a girl could ever ask for and im really lucky 'cause i know at the end of the day those guys are going to be the ones to help me up after i take a fall... that is seriously the most secure feeling ever---no matter what else is going on.
Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
C o u n t i n g the days that pass me by
i wish he knew ::: the phone call, although it seemed cold, was the hardest of my life. i wish he knew that, even though i may deny it, that night i still slept with the stuffed animal he won me. i wish he knew that the next morning i couldnt put mascara on my eyes becuase they were so puffy from crying all night. i wish he knew that the sound of his voice broke my heart and talking to him was near impossible. i wish he knew that that same night i promised myself that i would never make that same mistake of hurting someone i loved again. i wish he knew that i meant what i said about being in two different places in life...that wasn't just an excuse. i wish he knew that i'm not just another brat 15 year old girl who can't commit to anything. i wish he knew that he made me smile for the first time in a long time and when i laughed at his silly ways--i wasn't pretending. i wish he knew that, even though i keep saying it, i don't regret the things we did. i wish he knew that i will always have a place in my heart for him...no matter if we ever even talk again. i wish he knew i really wasn't a selfish person--but i just needed to do this for me. i wish he knew that i when i said "i love you"...i really did mean it.
...i just kind of wish that he knew.