I REALLY CAN'T WAIT
to see the bigger picture. hurry up and show me already. I'm going to be ok. I know I am. things are looking up already. I have really amazing friends, and I live in a place that people go to for vacation. I've got good parents, and I'm going somewhere in life. I'm not a lazy whore that sits around doing nothing. I work hard. I'm done putting my life on the back burner. Its not fair. Everything WILL be ok. I know it will.
& then one day I can look back at these days wondering why I stressed over things I can't control. I have a really good life. I'm lucky to have a nice home and a job. Things suck sometimes but I'm through with dwelling on the bullshit. I got the closure i needed. reassurance that life goes on.
I won't ever be able to please everybody. & thats completly fine with me. Not everybody is going to like me, but as long as I can stand on my own two feet, I could give a shit. because what do they matter anyway?
I know theres somebody out there for me. somebody that will appreciate what i do for them. and love me. I'm not in any hurry though to find him. I am having too much fun catching up for all of those moments lost in being sad.
the things that really matter right now, I am going to magnify. I am done taking things for granted. Life is too short and goes by too fast to forget about the small things. I am surrounded by amazing people. I have a good family. My friends are sincere and consistant. I don't have to ever worry about being ditched or ignored when it comes to them.
Alot of bad things have happened to me but instead of sympathizing for myself, I'm going to use them to make me stronger. So I can go back to where I started with the assurance and proof that I've grown up. I'm going to really try this year in school. I want to get a degree in something and be able to rely on my knowledge to get me places in life. I know my parents are proud of what I'm becoming. I know for a fact that I have made some of the most wonderful friends. I know that I'm happy with myself for real this time.
I'm done fighting fate. whatever happens, happens.
I know that I'm a good person and as long as I know that I'm trying my hardest to move on in life everything is going to be ok.