just thinking...
i feel alot closer to you being here..i do. but there are times when i feel as though yo don't even exsist. how is that possible? to feel as though i'm right next to you, but yet at other times you are just a figure of my imagination. the realistics dreams kill me, waking up in the morning and feeling like a hollow shell is not something i really enjoy. i miss you more then words could ever begin to describe. and i love you more then life itself. you are my other half, my everything. without you there is no point for me in this world. just please hurry and come home.
on another note, i've been here for a little over a week now, and i must say..time has flown by. i feel like i've been here longer. the days go by so fast, even when you aren't doing anything at all. i'm so anxious to get a job..i hope i get a streak of good luck soon with that. being surrounded by everything that reminds me of him is comforting. and sleeping with the blanket he used to use, looking at his base and driving by it, living with one of his really good friends, i feel so close to him. i dont mind giving things up for him, and for putting my life on hold..because he is worth it to me, even though at times i sit and wonder what on earth i'm doing with myself.
everyone says that life is about taking risks....jumping into something headfirst. i have conquered something amazing..for myself. i have taken the biggest jump of my life..and i landed with two feet. no one was there waiting to catch me, so to hold me hand and walk me through the rest of the way. i'm really learning to live for myself. it's terryfing but yet so amazing all at once. i feel a huge sense of freedom. i am so broke, and for the moment have no job, my boyfriend is millions of miles away from me, but i'm content. i find myself smiling more often....it think this was something that i needed. i know that the road will be rocky, but thats just life. it isn't always smooth sailing, but i have decided that i want to live for each moment. i want to look back and enjoy every second, i want to live with no regrets and embrace what all that comes my way.
i want to be happy...no matter what the circumstances of my life are.
on another note, i've been here for a little over a week now, and i must say..time has flown by. i feel like i've been here longer. the days go by so fast, even when you aren't doing anything at all. i'm so anxious to get a job..i hope i get a streak of good luck soon with that. being surrounded by everything that reminds me of him is comforting. and sleeping with the blanket he used to use, looking at his base and driving by it, living with one of his really good friends, i feel so close to him. i dont mind giving things up for him, and for putting my life on hold..because he is worth it to me, even though at times i sit and wonder what on earth i'm doing with myself.
everyone says that life is about taking risks....jumping into something headfirst. i have conquered something amazing..for myself. i have taken the biggest jump of my life..and i landed with two feet. no one was there waiting to catch me, so to hold me hand and walk me through the rest of the way. i'm really learning to live for myself. it's terryfing but yet so amazing all at once. i feel a huge sense of freedom. i am so broke, and for the moment have no job, my boyfriend is millions of miles away from me, but i'm content. i find myself smiling more often....it think this was something that i needed. i know that the road will be rocky, but thats just life. it isn't always smooth sailing, but i have decided that i want to live for each moment. i want to look back and enjoy every second, i want to live with no regrets and embrace what all that comes my way.
i want to be happy...no matter what the circumstances of my life are.