(no subject)
I had this dream last night...
i was in PA already and when I came back to visit you all forgot about me. It was like a nightmare. None of you remembered any of our memories, none of you knew who i was, worst of all you guys moved on without me. i went to call stephanie and when she answered she was with her new bffe's elissa and alison and she didnt know who "kelsey" was. I called sarah and she ignored my calls. it was scary. i just want to know if any of you at pirates cove last friday knew i was crying? any of you? okay i can name one person and that was sarah. she rarely sees me cry and she saw me lose it that night. I HAVE BEEN DREADING OF BEING FORGOTTEN. i dont want to leave you guys. im freaking out in my head and nobody knows it but me. yeah you guys are telling me i will be happier and stuff. but who is going to be happy leaving all that she knows? her best friends in the world? i dont think anyone understands. I try sooo hard to like let this just go past me. I try not to focus on it cuz its killing me. But there is nothing i can do when i already see it happening...right now. last night i called stephanie to see what she was doing. and she was with elissa and alison at ashtons house. i didnt know about this. i mean she usually always calls me to see if i wanna go...is this seriously happening to me?
maybe im overexaggerating. i just dont wanna let you go..
this summer ill be rolling down I-79, to Pittsburgh
9 years in my rear-veiw.
It will be the night before life goes on.
does anybody realize what im feeling right now? =(
i mean i want to leave...
but i seriously DONT want to leave.
my friends...i just dont know anymore.
i dont wanna stress about it...
but i love you allllllllllll seriously soo much. i dont wanna let you be my past. =(
worst of all, i dont wanna be your past.