(no subject)
i have written more letters this week than i have in years. its kind of nice, because i write to her all the time and she does me as well. ive always thought that the person means whatever they take time to sit down and write out. i could go on for pages and pages when i write to her, and usually we both write over 3 or 4 pages. its nice to read, although i cant help but be sad when i read them sometimes. i dont want to lose her, and i about did earlier this weekend. it was horrible, and i was actually afraid; which is strange cause i usually dont get really really worked up over this kind of stuff. i dont know if im happy or sad or just in between. when im with her im happy, when im not im usually worried or sad or something. when hes there i am usually a mixture of feelings, because it is very hard to keep a smile on your face when theres a guy all over the girl you love. bleh, its all very complicated. i hope she gives me a chance though. i could make her happy; she just has to let me in first.