(no subject)
well, my life is a roller coaster. one minute im up, the other minute im down. tonight was an up minute. went to the movies with her and her friends. i went to school with them, but i had never really met any of them, so i was being paranoid and thought maybe they would think im a jerk. turns out theyre just like the rest of us; meaning that we have a lot in common. after the movie they came over and we just sat around and chilled. i dont think she really wanted them to come over, but me being excited for actually hanging out with other people, invited them. i felt kinda bad about it, cause i had the feeling as though i was trying to steal her friends, but i was just happy to have people acting like friends should. when they got here though she was fine. she was laughing and having fun, which made me happy and made me have a lot of fun. after they left we layed on the couch and rested until he came over. i cant really touch her when hes around in any way or he gets mad(even though theyre taking a break, which is stupid, because he can touch her), but it made me feel really good because she leaned over to me and smiled and whispered i love you in my ear. that was just as good as a kiss. a random i love you is better because you know its meant. but they have gone to bed, and i am up writing this occasion down. she interrupted me a minute ago because shes sick and she needed some medicine, so i did and kissed her goodnight and she went back to sleep. so in three simple words i will explain things: tonight was great. i usually dont feel a happiness in me anymore, but tonight was simply great. tomarrow should be good too. shes coming over and im cooking a nice steak dinner for the two of us. things should go good...knock on wood. i hope they do. theres not much sadness i can take right now. my grandpa is in a nursing home, after being in the hospital not doin too well for the past 3 days. hes my last living grandparent, and two years after losing my grandma, i dont want to lose him at all. i dont see him much anymore, and it makes me sad cause i practically lived there when i was 10. he would always pull out a piece of caramel and smile when i would run in and give him a hug. i miss those days very much. im not close to any of my family anymore. i might as well live a thousand miles away. i know its not healthy to dwell on the past, but i miss 3 years ago. i had everything i could need or want. friends, music, family, happiness. but that is 3 years ago. no way in hell i could go back now, and as much as i want to...i dont think i would. o well, i guess i will go to sleep now, im waking up at 10 to get my day started. we'll see how that goes.