Lost + Anger
Hm, okay. I came here with the intention to channel my frustrations about not making progress with any of the remaining school assignments that I have at hand. But now, I'm quite lost. For words.
But since I came to this posting-an-entry page, might as well pen a few words down before I get even more embroiled in the internal battle of whether to post or not...
It's funny how I'm dreading to write the story of the train station which I enjoyed doing so for the draft, and ended up reading about blood groups in Wikipedia. And how interested I'm in the affairs of others that I'm suddenly scrolling through every possible blogs belonging to a person whom I can put a face to the name to, when I do that only with a select few, all without reason or rhyme. That includes blogs with the typical, crappy kind of daily entry. Hardly palatable, IMO, both content and use of language, but oh ho, I read them with near enthusiasm.
Funny how I'm supposed to be stressing out over everything that's been piling on my plate, and I end up thinking I can always do it tomorrow. =/ Reminds me so much of how I was during my prelims just before the O'levels when I just let go of everything when everyone else was scrambling to digest every possible byte/bite of their notes and ten-year-series. Gosh, this reverse psychology thing is scaring me, especially when it's got nothing to do with someone trying to convince me of something.
Shouldn't even be here at the first place, especially when I've only accomplished a poorly rewritten paragraph of my copy for the photo journal. O: Oh well, and still the thought of me going to bed with a barely done work now sounds very reasonable to me...
I'm planning to post up my baby photo someday. Soon. Nowhere as cute as Lollipop, but damn I miss her, and when I look at my baby photo, I see her somehow in my mind's eye. I'll probs post one of Lollipop too, but she's such an adorabella, I'm so afraid someone will try to adopt her directly over the web! O: Anyway Cambodia was great fun, and a whole major experience. There's a lot to say, but I won't do it here because it really works out better if I tell you personally.... all in all, I came back, TANNED (am still, sadly), and with overly-active sweat glands. Even in walking at a moderate pace, I could perspire so much so that I think I put those joggers at Bishan Park to shame. =/ Ask my friends. I'm practically the condensation-magnet around! =D
Okay, homework calls, but sleep beckons. =D
God, I'm just writing this because I wanted to make sure you got my prayers in all humanly-possible mediums, so I can be rest assured, in my very human-doubting nature, that you are getting my message. In verbal, visual, mental, and aural ways, Lord, I ask you, to firstly forgive me for my impudence here... I thought maybe you'd be more receptive if I were more creative... so here I am writing. Lord, forgive me for my lack of communication... but I thank you for giving me the chance to studying (visual) communication, though, but I guess it's not very helpful in growing the bond between us, yeah? God, do you have priorities? If so, what are they?? Lord, forgive me once again for all that I've asked of you, most of which are material, and I'm really sorry that all these prayers must have troubled you, for there are many out there praying for the immaterial... but I can't help it Lord, I can't. Because I'm so reliant on my flawful human nature, tell me, in the most humanly possible way, how do you feel? Bad? Angry? Or something that humans can't comprehend?
Lord, yesterday someone told a friend and I that we're to die this year and he probably mentioned of us going to hell as well. Except he was mumbling and I thought he said 'table warming' which I found utterly ridiculous considering you only warm houses. It was only when he shoved this slip of paper with the words 'Take WARNING' that I realised he was a separated brethren who believed in predestination, and not freewill, that will determine our place in the afterlife. Afterlife matters, Lord, are yours to decide, so I'll not probe too much into what's beyond my fallible human comprehension. But Lord, really what should I have done? He made my friend, who isn't a believer, angry and mad that followers of Christ could be so quick to condemn and judge. I'm sorry on the guy's behalf, but yet I'm also angry at him for the very fact that he tried to put himself in your shoes, in other words, play God, and decide who goes where after death. =/ Lord, I even thought of going back and confront him, so please forgive me. Please tell me what I should do, yeah? I need some help with the material side of things down here... IMO, it'd help a lot with what's immaterial here. Thanks for reading this... I could draw something next time perhaps if you don't mind half-baked looking sketches. =)
Marilyn
In nomine Patre, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen! (Sorry Lord if I spelt wrongly... Latin's not my first language. Nor my 2nd, nor 3rd. Apologies!)
But since I came to this posting-an-entry page, might as well pen a few words down before I get even more embroiled in the internal battle of whether to post or not...
It's funny how I'm dreading to write the story of the train station which I enjoyed doing so for the draft, and ended up reading about blood groups in Wikipedia. And how interested I'm in the affairs of others that I'm suddenly scrolling through every possible blogs belonging to a person whom I can put a face to the name to, when I do that only with a select few, all without reason or rhyme. That includes blogs with the typical, crappy kind of daily entry. Hardly palatable, IMO, both content and use of language, but oh ho, I read them with near enthusiasm.
Funny how I'm supposed to be stressing out over everything that's been piling on my plate, and I end up thinking I can always do it tomorrow. =/ Reminds me so much of how I was during my prelims just before the O'levels when I just let go of everything when everyone else was scrambling to digest every possible byte/bite of their notes and ten-year-series. Gosh, this reverse psychology thing is scaring me, especially when it's got nothing to do with someone trying to convince me of something.
Shouldn't even be here at the first place, especially when I've only accomplished a poorly rewritten paragraph of my copy for the photo journal. O: Oh well, and still the thought of me going to bed with a barely done work now sounds very reasonable to me...
I'm planning to post up my baby photo someday. Soon. Nowhere as cute as Lollipop, but damn I miss her, and when I look at my baby photo, I see her somehow in my mind's eye. I'll probs post one of Lollipop too, but she's such an adorabella, I'm so afraid someone will try to adopt her directly over the web! O: Anyway Cambodia was great fun, and a whole major experience. There's a lot to say, but I won't do it here because it really works out better if I tell you personally.... all in all, I came back, TANNED (am still, sadly), and with overly-active sweat glands. Even in walking at a moderate pace, I could perspire so much so that I think I put those joggers at Bishan Park to shame. =/ Ask my friends. I'm practically the condensation-magnet around! =D
Okay, homework calls, but sleep beckons. =D
God, I'm just writing this because I wanted to make sure you got my prayers in all humanly-possible mediums, so I can be rest assured, in my very human-doubting nature, that you are getting my message. In verbal, visual, mental, and aural ways, Lord, I ask you, to firstly forgive me for my impudence here... I thought maybe you'd be more receptive if I were more creative... so here I am writing. Lord, forgive me for my lack of communication... but I thank you for giving me the chance to studying (visual) communication, though, but I guess it's not very helpful in growing the bond between us, yeah? God, do you have priorities? If so, what are they?? Lord, forgive me once again for all that I've asked of you, most of which are material, and I'm really sorry that all these prayers must have troubled you, for there are many out there praying for the immaterial... but I can't help it Lord, I can't. Because I'm so reliant on my flawful human nature, tell me, in the most humanly possible way, how do you feel? Bad? Angry? Or something that humans can't comprehend?
Lord, yesterday someone told a friend and I that we're to die this year and he probably mentioned of us going to hell as well. Except he was mumbling and I thought he said 'table warming' which I found utterly ridiculous considering you only warm houses. It was only when he shoved this slip of paper with the words 'Take WARNING' that I realised he was a separated brethren who believed in predestination, and not freewill, that will determine our place in the afterlife. Afterlife matters, Lord, are yours to decide, so I'll not probe too much into what's beyond my fallible human comprehension. But Lord, really what should I have done? He made my friend, who isn't a believer, angry and mad that followers of Christ could be so quick to condemn and judge. I'm sorry on the guy's behalf, but yet I'm also angry at him for the very fact that he tried to put himself in your shoes, in other words, play God, and decide who goes where after death. =/ Lord, I even thought of going back and confront him, so please forgive me. Please tell me what I should do, yeah? I need some help with the material side of things down here... IMO, it'd help a lot with what's immaterial here. Thanks for reading this... I could draw something next time perhaps if you don't mind half-baked looking sketches. =)
Marilyn
In nomine Patre, et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, Amen! (Sorry Lord if I spelt wrongly... Latin's not my first language. Nor my 2nd, nor 3rd. Apologies!)