(no subject)
My mind makes me so sick sometimes. I dont know if it's because I think everything is fine in the world and nothing ever goes wrong, or if I actually mean the things that I think about. No matter how mean you were to me, and how much you made me feel like crap every single day, I still think about you a lot. And the annoying thing is it that I don't want to. At all. It might be because I forgive easily, but I've never thought about a person the way I thought of you. And the thing that makes me the most upset is that you took advantage of everything since day one, so why should I even be wasting my time on it? It's not that I miss you, It's not that I want you back, it's the fact that I care about you more than I ever expected myself to. If I had the guts to tell you all of this, even though I have no way to anyways, I really would. Because I mean every word of it. I see so much potential in you still, and I think so highly of you sometimes when I really have no reason at all to even do it. Actually, I can't even think of a single reason. That's kindof what scares me though, I've never thought that about a person before. I've never had so much faith in someone that showed nothing positive to me. Maybe it's all in my head, or maybe it's because it's what I want to believe, but I really don't think it's either of those. I don't even know what I want or need to stop thinking about everything. Maybe I shouldn't NOT be thinking about it. I don't know. Whatever. Obviously everything happened for a reason since it totally bombed in my face, so hopefully I just stop caring really soon. Which is highly unlikely because I care about almost everything. I hate how I feel like I'm wasting my time on a person though. I hate thinking that so much. It's so mean to say. But when I sit and break it all down to figure it out, I kindof am wasting my time. Because if you never cared to begin with, why would you care about it right now? It's kindof like I'm caring about a person who I never even met before.
Which is sort of a true statement since now I know that I never actually knew you.
WHAT-
EVER.
I'M GOING TO GO DRAW NOW.
Oh, and I wore shorts out for the very first time today. I actually felt comfortable.
It was fantastic..
Which is sort of a true statement since now I know that I never actually knew you.
WHAT-
EVER.
I'M GOING TO GO DRAW NOW.
Oh, and I wore shorts out for the very first time today. I actually felt comfortable.
It was fantastic..