(no subject)
new years eve sucked. I hate selfish people.
Josh and Augie picked me up and we went to adam and alex's while we were waiting for chelsey, harris, chelsea and mike... They made us wait FOREVER....then we went to the lloyd center parking lot where they told us to meet them and they didn't get there until 11:55.... They told us that we were all going to go to a party well it turns out it wasn't a party it was some people hanging out with tonys family.... GAY, so we rang in the new year in the lloyd center parking lot. I did something that I felt (at still feel) super bad about. Josh was like "It's 12 o'clock, kiss me!" and I thought he was joking so I just looked back at him and laughed.... Turns out, he wasn't joking, it bummed him out pretty bad and i felt like a fucking bitch. :(
I hate fighting with him. I HATE IT.
I love him more than anything and I don't want to ruin us.
From now on... theres no looking back.... ONLY MOVING FORWARD.
Yesterday was a good day for us. He picked me up and we went to breakfast, then we went shopping for a little bit, then went and saw The Pursuit Of HappYness. It was a pretty good movie. After that we went back to my house and uhhh... hung out. haha. Damn.... I don't know what else to say... I'm holding back a lot of how I REALLY feel towards him because I don't want to get hurt again. It's so hard though since like 1 month and a half ago... we were totally "in love" or so we thought... or maybe it was just me who thought that. I don't know. I guess we just rushed into things. But we're working on things now and hopefully everything will be alright.
I have the best surprise for him for his birthday. I hope he'll be stoked. I know I am, because it's not only for his benefit it's for mine too. :) I'd write about it, only he reads this sometimes.
I work today at 3, and I'm not too stoked for that, but oh well... It's so weird to me that it's the NEW YEAR. I don't know. All I know is A LOT is going to change this year... FOR THE BETTER. Nothing is going to stop me from doing what I feel I need to do to succeed in the things I want to succeed in. I'm so over letting people and things hold me back. completely OVER IT. I feel like I'm kinda getting sick which sucks I REALLY hope I'm not. I get paid on friday... Most of it will go to bills. Oh well... if I have enough left over I'm going to get a TV for my room I think. I'm going to start working more hours at work so that's good. It'll mean less free time but I don't care that much. Most of my free time is spent with Josh anyways, and we need time apart from each other. Yesterday, I actually talked to him about when he went to melissa's and got his stuff from her while he was in california and I did it without getting angry... USUALLY when we talk about her it makes me super uncomfortable and angry... I don't know why. but I think I'm starting to get over the whole jealousy thing. I TRUST him. Which is good because that had a lot to do with our problems I think. Anyways this entry is retarded and totally un organized. And I gotta get ready for work... soooo I'm done.
Josh and Augie picked me up and we went to adam and alex's while we were waiting for chelsey, harris, chelsea and mike... They made us wait FOREVER....then we went to the lloyd center parking lot where they told us to meet them and they didn't get there until 11:55.... They told us that we were all going to go to a party well it turns out it wasn't a party it was some people hanging out with tonys family.... GAY, so we rang in the new year in the lloyd center parking lot. I did something that I felt (at still feel) super bad about. Josh was like "It's 12 o'clock, kiss me!" and I thought he was joking so I just looked back at him and laughed.... Turns out, he wasn't joking, it bummed him out pretty bad and i felt like a fucking bitch. :(
I hate fighting with him. I HATE IT.
I love him more than anything and I don't want to ruin us.
From now on... theres no looking back.... ONLY MOVING FORWARD.
Yesterday was a good day for us. He picked me up and we went to breakfast, then we went shopping for a little bit, then went and saw The Pursuit Of HappYness. It was a pretty good movie. After that we went back to my house and uhhh... hung out. haha. Damn.... I don't know what else to say... I'm holding back a lot of how I REALLY feel towards him because I don't want to get hurt again. It's so hard though since like 1 month and a half ago... we were totally "in love" or so we thought... or maybe it was just me who thought that. I don't know. I guess we just rushed into things. But we're working on things now and hopefully everything will be alright.
I have the best surprise for him for his birthday. I hope he'll be stoked. I know I am, because it's not only for his benefit it's for mine too. :) I'd write about it, only he reads this sometimes.
I work today at 3, and I'm not too stoked for that, but oh well... It's so weird to me that it's the NEW YEAR. I don't know. All I know is A LOT is going to change this year... FOR THE BETTER. Nothing is going to stop me from doing what I feel I need to do to succeed in the things I want to succeed in. I'm so over letting people and things hold me back. completely OVER IT. I feel like I'm kinda getting sick which sucks I REALLY hope I'm not. I get paid on friday... Most of it will go to bills. Oh well... if I have enough left over I'm going to get a TV for my room I think. I'm going to start working more hours at work so that's good. It'll mean less free time but I don't care that much. Most of my free time is spent with Josh anyways, and we need time apart from each other. Yesterday, I actually talked to him about when he went to melissa's and got his stuff from her while he was in california and I did it without getting angry... USUALLY when we talk about her it makes me super uncomfortable and angry... I don't know why. but I think I'm starting to get over the whole jealousy thing. I TRUST him. Which is good because that had a lot to do with our problems I think. Anyways this entry is retarded and totally un organized. And I gotta get ready for work... soooo I'm done.