(no subject)
About 1 hour earlier I got in trouble for making my mother and sister believe I'm gay. I feel like a stranger in my own home, and then..
I found her in a pool of her own vomit. I'm so disgusted I want to run as far away from this place as possible. I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I feel like some part of me left and went crazy. I can't stop the tears. I seem to be full of ocean. All the letters are blurry and I can't type properly. I feel like the ugliest piece of dirt that can be found on earth. It's all such a mess. The pillows are full of it. I don't know how to make it clean. I'm afraid. Where's my mother. Oh God, the stench. I should have known before I touched it. Fuck, it's on me. I don't think I'll ever get clean enough. I feel like I'm losing it. It's 2am. Where is everybody!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! I can't stop. Where did all the good go?! I'm losing it. Here and now. My eyes are red and puffy. The screaming in my head won't go away. It's an echo. Oh god, when will it STOP. She's on the floor. How can I hide this. Mother will be pissed. She'll get insane. She'll say things. She'll blame me. I feel like I'm seeing myself in my own pool of vomit. I feel like trash. Something has gone and destroyed me. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!
I found her in a pool of her own vomit. I'm so disgusted I want to run as far away from this place as possible. I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I feel like some part of me left and went crazy. I can't stop the tears. I seem to be full of ocean. All the letters are blurry and I can't type properly. I feel like the ugliest piece of dirt that can be found on earth. It's all such a mess. The pillows are full of it. I don't know how to make it clean. I'm afraid. Where's my mother. Oh God, the stench. I should have known before I touched it. Fuck, it's on me. I don't think I'll ever get clean enough. I feel like I'm losing it. It's 2am. Where is everybody!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! I can't stop. Where did all the good go?! I'm losing it. Here and now. My eyes are red and puffy. The screaming in my head won't go away. It's an echo. Oh god, when will it STOP. She's on the floor. How can I hide this. Mother will be pissed. She'll get insane. She'll say things. She'll blame me. I feel like I'm seeing myself in my own pool of vomit. I feel like trash. Something has gone and destroyed me. I need to get the FUCK OUT OF HERE! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!