Apr 11, 2005 12:11
well hell is finally over..i can finaly rest and shit cuz i really do need it i literally killed myself over this past 3 weeks..it hasnt been easy...but i did it...i fukn did it...but i lost myself in the progress...i lost very big part of me...ive changed alot 2....grown up alot but yeah its not the same...yeah i still act the same sometimes but yeah u know ive grown serious 2 a lil more than before sometimes t just sux sometimes cuz am not like that for those of you that know me..u know am a fun loving guy...i will find myself soon i just know it..and when i do everything will be okay but till then yeah well just bare with me not much has changed so dont worry peps am still the same guy ijust blabber a bunch of shit sometimes like right now am not 100% am sorry but am not i feel like shit i feel sick...i just want 2 sleep in this whole week yeah i can only wish haha all i know thats it going 2 b boring week i just know it...all i know 2mrw i will prolly spend most of the day either at the marina or point fermin more than anything point fermin thats the opnly place i can go here in pedro that i can trully actually relax i forget everything wen am there... before all i needed was my six strings 2 forget all my pains and sufferings but that doesnt really work anymore nothing does i havnt been 2 point fermin in a long ass time hopefully that hasnt lost its effect on me cuz if it has then i will trully be lost.....so ill c 2mrw how that goes... i need a vacation i really do i think that am just going 2 end up going 2 mexico for like a month i dunno as much as i hate being over there i think that i trully need that..itl trully be a test 2 see if i can make it on my own 2 c how trully strong my will is i know that its strong i know this but sometimes i doubt myself...i trully do thats why am so negative sometimes haha am just screwed in head easy as that...but all my answers will b revealed 2 me i just have 2 sit down and look for them there not far,, i just have 2 open my eyes and see everything not just go by feeling....i know most of this makes no sense at all am not a very good writter as you all my know by now but heck i try my best and thats what really counts...so yeah il try 2 post soon i havnt had nothing 2 post we just loose our fire sometimes sometimes we all loose in the end but wen we win man its the sweetest feeling in the world i hope that i find that feeling once again but with those last words i say goodbye 2 my friends out there and i guess ill c yall around laters for now.....................