(no subject)
Don't smother each other, no one can grow in shade.
Sigh. Whatever makes it work.
I get very hopeful when I start thinking back to the days
where I had blonde hair & pre-braces for you.
This weekend, I learned a huge chunk about my past, about my family. I'm shocked, amazed, and thankful all at the same time. That story is going to change my life. It already started. I'm more understanding. It helped me out with my current situation. I still can't believe it. I'll build up the courage to ask more about it. Knowing that I'm in college already trips me out. I wish everyone went to college. If that were to happen, I don't think society would be so gullable as to pay as much attention to the serious crap the media taught us.
I found out that it's okay to be attached to someone because you learn to love, care, and admire who they are. You get to know someone as much as you know yourself. You get to know yourself by getting that close to someone. Intimacy is necessary, comforting, and beautiful. I guess I used to think it was a bad sign because teachers used to push us to be our own individual self & not to get attached yet because we were still in high school. No one taught me that it could ever be that rewarding. Sometimes stepping back helps you see the picture much clearer. At least I know now, I guess.
How do you know what's the right answer to dilemmas? I don't really think there's a right answer. I'm not even sure you can answer dilemmas. You kind of just, go along with it. The way I see it, there's a dead end everytime you hit a problem. You have many routes you can choose from. Each pathway gives you different experiences, that's the only difference; you still end up in the same place, where you're supposed to be.
I guess I've been on the same track over and over again. It's about time I choose a different route. I've experienced the same thing too many times. It's about time I move on to the second option. I'm more scared. It's longer and more rough, but experiencing the same hardships over and over again is a big hint that I need to try something new. But we'll still end up at the same spot. Together. Because we want it that way & we know what we need is there, just covered underneath the mistakes. The hardest part is waiting for that sentence to surface. From the both of us.
PAST & PRESENT; Now I can truly say, "When love isn't enough."
When JUST loving isn't enough... I guess you have to BE IN it too.
FUTURE; "Love conquers all."
So... we'll make it.
P.S. I did a meditation, or the night before. Whatever you want to consider it.Once again, I still have no idea who reads this blog.
Maybe a few on my friends list, if they still use LJ.
Maybe a few close friends.
Maybe a few strangers who found this on random.
I have no clue, I kind of like it like that too.
Whoever reads it, maybe this'll help.
Lights off, candles on. Shut eyes. Legs crossed, Indian style. Palms faced up, laying on knees. Straighten up spine. Don't think of anything. Focus on the pure black, empty all thoughts. Breathe slow. Keep it like that for one minute, then go ---
Inhale: Patience.
Exhale: Anger.
Inhale: Forgiveness.
Exhale: Hurt.
Inhaling & holding until the air has time to fill & circle my lungs.
Stopping when the light-headedness kicks in.
It's the same feeling as smoking a cigarette,but it's not harmful.
Oh the benefits of retreats at Catholic schools.
Belanger has shaped me into a mini-her.
But hey, it got me & other classmates through senior year stress & depression.
I guess looking stupid beats feeling stupid.
Sigh. Whatever makes it work.
I get very hopeful when I start thinking back to the days
where I had blonde hair & pre-braces for you.
This weekend, I learned a huge chunk about my past, about my family. I'm shocked, amazed, and thankful all at the same time. That story is going to change my life. It already started. I'm more understanding. It helped me out with my current situation. I still can't believe it. I'll build up the courage to ask more about it. Knowing that I'm in college already trips me out. I wish everyone went to college. If that were to happen, I don't think society would be so gullable as to pay as much attention to the serious crap the media taught us.
I found out that it's okay to be attached to someone because you learn to love, care, and admire who they are. You get to know someone as much as you know yourself. You get to know yourself by getting that close to someone. Intimacy is necessary, comforting, and beautiful. I guess I used to think it was a bad sign because teachers used to push us to be our own individual self & not to get attached yet because we were still in high school. No one taught me that it could ever be that rewarding. Sometimes stepping back helps you see the picture much clearer. At least I know now, I guess.
How do you know what's the right answer to dilemmas? I don't really think there's a right answer. I'm not even sure you can answer dilemmas. You kind of just, go along with it. The way I see it, there's a dead end everytime you hit a problem. You have many routes you can choose from. Each pathway gives you different experiences, that's the only difference; you still end up in the same place, where you're supposed to be.
I guess I've been on the same track over and over again. It's about time I choose a different route. I've experienced the same thing too many times. It's about time I move on to the second option. I'm more scared. It's longer and more rough, but experiencing the same hardships over and over again is a big hint that I need to try something new. But we'll still end up at the same spot. Together. Because we want it that way & we know what we need is there, just covered underneath the mistakes. The hardest part is waiting for that sentence to surface. From the both of us.
PAST & PRESENT; Now I can truly say, "When love isn't enough."
When JUST loving isn't enough... I guess you have to BE IN it too.
FUTURE; "Love conquers all."
So... we'll make it.
P.S. I did a meditation, or the night before. Whatever you want to consider it.Once again, I still have no idea who reads this blog.
Maybe a few on my friends list, if they still use LJ.
Maybe a few close friends.
Maybe a few strangers who found this on random.
I have no clue, I kind of like it like that too.
Whoever reads it, maybe this'll help.
Lights off, candles on. Shut eyes. Legs crossed, Indian style. Palms faced up, laying on knees. Straighten up spine. Don't think of anything. Focus on the pure black, empty all thoughts. Breathe slow. Keep it like that for one minute, then go ---
Inhale: Patience.
Exhale: Anger.
Inhale: Forgiveness.
Exhale: Hurt.
Inhaling & holding until the air has time to fill & circle my lungs.
Stopping when the light-headedness kicks in.
It's the same feeling as smoking a cigarette,but it's not harmful.
Oh the benefits of retreats at Catholic schools.
Belanger has shaped me into a mini-her.
But hey, it got me & other classmates through senior year stress & depression.
I guess looking stupid beats feeling stupid.