(no subject)
I can't take the feeling I get sometimes.
When it feels like my heart is in my throat.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up.
Sometimes.
Sometimes I feel that I'm worthless, that I'm a waste of space and time.
Sometimes.
The more and more I think about it, I still don't know him.
I haven't gotten inside his head.
I guess that comes with time.
I haven't cried in front of him yet. Which is weird.
I wanted to cry that night at band. When he got mad.
I wanted to cry tonight. When he told me that 'something on the couch was getting him mad.'
I was the only thing on the couch besides him.
IDK. Maybe this isn't going to be like I want it.
I forgot that nothing turns out the way I want it.
I forgot that things never go my way.
Seriously.
I need to go to bed, I have to be at brother rice at 9:00 AM.
Fuck everything.
When it feels like my heart is in my throat.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up.
Sometimes.
Sometimes I feel that I'm worthless, that I'm a waste of space and time.
Sometimes.
The more and more I think about it, I still don't know him.
I haven't gotten inside his head.
I guess that comes with time.
I haven't cried in front of him yet. Which is weird.
I wanted to cry that night at band. When he got mad.
I wanted to cry tonight. When he told me that 'something on the couch was getting him mad.'
I was the only thing on the couch besides him.
IDK. Maybe this isn't going to be like I want it.
I forgot that nothing turns out the way I want it.
I forgot that things never go my way.
Seriously.
I need to go to bed, I have to be at brother rice at 9:00 AM.
Fuck everything.