(no subject)
Ever since I was young your word is the word that always won.
Worry and wake the ones you love.
A phone call I'd rather not receive.
Please use my body while I sleep.
My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,
Kept clean and they will let you breathe.
Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind.
Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,
so I sat alone and waited out the night.
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.
So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around.
I'm not writing my goodbyes.
I submit no excuse.
If this is what I have to do I owe you every day I wake.
If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells
and remove whatever makes you hurt but I am too weak to be your cure.
Um yeah. My g-ma is still at the hospital, and I hate going there.
I hate seeing her hooked up to all these machines.
I just hate it.
It kills me.
She's there because Thursday she had a stress test, and after, she didn't feel good. Her heartbeat was insanely high, and so my mom called the ambulance. They took her to christ, and then transferred her to McNeal. They took x-rays and found there was fluid in her lungs. As of now, she's sedated, and they have her on a resperator. She can hardly breathe on her own right now. She is also being very feisty, hitting the nurses, because she's uncomfortable. They had to strap her down, because the doctors wanted her to stay still, and she can't. The doctors also don't want us in her room all the time because they think that we get her excited, and thats why her heartbeat goes up. I think it's something else. I think that because all the fluid is in her lungs, it's pressing down on her heart, making it beat faster. But what do I know, I'm not a doctor.
I just don't want her to suffer, and if that means god has to take her away from me, then so be it. I'd rather have her in a better place than have her suffer.
Really. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm at the hospital.
I go crazy.
I just stare at the walls, or blankly stare at my phone, waiting for someone to call.
I hate this feeling.
This weekend sucks.
Worry and wake the ones you love.
A phone call I'd rather not receive.
Please use my body while I sleep.
My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,
Kept clean and they will let you breathe.
Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind.
Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,
so I sat alone and waited out the night.
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.
So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around.
I'm not writing my goodbyes.
I submit no excuse.
If this is what I have to do I owe you every day I wake.
If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells
and remove whatever makes you hurt but I am too weak to be your cure.
Um yeah. My g-ma is still at the hospital, and I hate going there.
I hate seeing her hooked up to all these machines.
I just hate it.
It kills me.
She's there because Thursday she had a stress test, and after, she didn't feel good. Her heartbeat was insanely high, and so my mom called the ambulance. They took her to christ, and then transferred her to McNeal. They took x-rays and found there was fluid in her lungs. As of now, she's sedated, and they have her on a resperator. She can hardly breathe on her own right now. She is also being very feisty, hitting the nurses, because she's uncomfortable. They had to strap her down, because the doctors wanted her to stay still, and she can't. The doctors also don't want us in her room all the time because they think that we get her excited, and thats why her heartbeat goes up. I think it's something else. I think that because all the fluid is in her lungs, it's pressing down on her heart, making it beat faster. But what do I know, I'm not a doctor.
I just don't want her to suffer, and if that means god has to take her away from me, then so be it. I'd rather have her in a better place than have her suffer.
Really. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm at the hospital.
I go crazy.
I just stare at the walls, or blankly stare at my phone, waiting for someone to call.
I hate this feeling.
This weekend sucks.