(no subject)
yeah how about fuck everything. i was doing so good too.
trying to forget about everything. as if its not bad
enough that i have to look at you for half of the day.
oh yeah i hate it when stupid little girls try and
fucking two time one of my friends, especially one
who have always listened and cared for me. yeah how
about i smash your face up? yeah how about that?
yeah thats definately ridiculous.
we won tonight. which was good. first game/first home game.
yeah we killed them. and it was fine. but then i got home
and shit got weird, and shit was bad all day and id just
much rather go back to new york because now matter how much
i attempt to like it here, i dont. and all i hear is
"well how is going back to new york going to help?" well hmm..
there are actually people who care about me there.
people with serious financial issues, who would give me their
last dollar in an instant. i belong there, im welcome there.
here, no one would notice if i fell off a cliff. (well only the few close ones would)
everyone in valrico is the SAME! theyre all the SAME. no
personalities, no substance, NOTHING! just money and
"trendy" clothes. its ridiculous. and the one person, the
one person who can understand every last feeling and emotion..
refuses to be there for me, let alone attempts to be there for me.
ive made so many mistakes, i know. i was SO immature.
and i was just a crazy person but you know what?
IT SHOULDNT MATTER! IT SHOULDNT FUCKING MATTER.
when you tell someone that you love them, that means
ill always be here for you NO MATTER WHAT. i think he
left out the no matter what part. because im still sitting
here, EMPTY and wondering how he feels, and why he doesnt
want to know how i feel. and i want to know why i always
do this to myself and why i cant just shake this off?
why does it haunt me day after day after day? WHY?
why do i feel like im sitting, waiting around for him to
wake up and realize its supposed to be him and me, forever.
because there is no one like him, and certainly no one as
crazy as me. thats a given. and you know what i just cant
do this anymore. this is tearing me up inside.
i need to grow up.
trying to forget about everything. as if its not bad
enough that i have to look at you for half of the day.
oh yeah i hate it when stupid little girls try and
fucking two time one of my friends, especially one
who have always listened and cared for me. yeah how
about i smash your face up? yeah how about that?
yeah thats definately ridiculous.
we won tonight. which was good. first game/first home game.
yeah we killed them. and it was fine. but then i got home
and shit got weird, and shit was bad all day and id just
much rather go back to new york because now matter how much
i attempt to like it here, i dont. and all i hear is
"well how is going back to new york going to help?" well hmm..
there are actually people who care about me there.
people with serious financial issues, who would give me their
last dollar in an instant. i belong there, im welcome there.
here, no one would notice if i fell off a cliff. (well only the few close ones would)
everyone in valrico is the SAME! theyre all the SAME. no
personalities, no substance, NOTHING! just money and
"trendy" clothes. its ridiculous. and the one person, the
one person who can understand every last feeling and emotion..
refuses to be there for me, let alone attempts to be there for me.
ive made so many mistakes, i know. i was SO immature.
and i was just a crazy person but you know what?
IT SHOULDNT MATTER! IT SHOULDNT FUCKING MATTER.
when you tell someone that you love them, that means
ill always be here for you NO MATTER WHAT. i think he
left out the no matter what part. because im still sitting
here, EMPTY and wondering how he feels, and why he doesnt
want to know how i feel. and i want to know why i always
do this to myself and why i cant just shake this off?
why does it haunt me day after day after day? WHY?
why do i feel like im sitting, waiting around for him to
wake up and realize its supposed to be him and me, forever.
because there is no one like him, and certainly no one as
crazy as me. thats a given. and you know what i just cant
do this anymore. this is tearing me up inside.
i need to grow up.