We've only just begun to live.

[___brianalolz]

I'm sitting in Boston listening to cars drive by and watching a man cook himself breakfast through a window, and I care scarely sort through my feelings. Though I've always felt mature, it took this trip to make me realize I'm an adult. Though it might be irresponsible to make a spur of the moment, week long trip with money that isn't even your own, I have never felt more independent. I can do whatever I want whenever I want, and I no longer need the help or approval of anyone. There are plenty of things that I need advice on, but I can handle anything, and I am honestly starting to believe the crap line, "You can do anything you put your mind to." I have gotten some fresh perspective up here, and I am really starting to love myself and enjoy life. If you would have told me it were possible to feel this way six months ago, I would have laughed in your face and then continued crying. I think that attitude is literally everything, and if you're a negative Nancy then you will never achieve anything but iscolating yourself.

I have some new, somewhat strange dreams. I have gotten so skinny that I don't even recognize myself in pictures, and I'm going to try to use that to my advantage to make some money. I will also be deeply satisfied to show my modeling portfolio to anyone from Palm Bay High that wrote me off as a fat outcast, or any man that just wanted to be my best friend because he couldn't stand the thought of intimacy. I'm finally getting what I deserve, and some day so will everyone else. : )