the jungle
I pray to fall and hit my head, nab my chance and surrender to somnolence by dropping into a coma. I, also, pray for my brain to then remain intact, for the impact to simply lull me into temporary hibernation. Big things are doubling on the horizon: house payments, work, telephone bills, work, relinquishing of beloved pets, work work, work. If I could just clear my head of all this confusion and unspoken …I don't even know what, I'd stand and face it all, bite the bullet, better or worse, leap into the breach. I wish I understood why it is essential for everything to hang on the edge of pandemonium and threaten shambles in order to throw me into verve. I am such a goddamn girl, I am so completely a man's woman, a woman's woman, a massive ball of anticipation and lust and comprehensibility's that can speak, think, and project this fucking golden image, laughing and crying simultaneously.