I LIKE WHERE WE AREEE.

[___bangbangggg]

brendan and i broke up;
after a month and some weeks.
but its cool, we're still talking.
and still care about eachother.
so it's all good, i guess.
i mean, i still want to be with him, but i guess
it cant be that way? i don't really know.
It's all just so confusing.
We had a nice talk the other night, and
i really think we needed it.
We needed to see how we both felt, and
how we see things, and whats going through each
of our heads.
It actually made me feel alot better, like sometimes i
dont even see why i like him as much as i do.
I mean its not like i gave myself to him, we havent even 
done anything yet. & i guess thats what makes me feel so conected
towards him.  I feel different around him, and honestly i'm liking it.
I get moody, and bitchy, i admit, but it's normal.
Like, i guess i get like that because im scared,
i don't want to lose him.
I mean, i feel like a retarted right now because
i'm saying all this to an online journal that i barely ever use.
but i need to say it, ha.
I don't know, i want himt to be happy.
Even if he didn't want to talk to me anymore, i guess i'd be okay with it
because thats what he wants, & i care about him.
So i'd make myself be okay with it.
He's my boo, & i'm always thinking about him.
Like, i honestly don't think there really is a time that i'm not thinking about him
and what he's doing at that exact time.
I feel as if i've grown to trust him, I haven't trusted him
the whole time we've talked, and been together.
and now i feel as if i have all the reasons to.
You don't even understand the things i would do just to be with him right now,
and be by his side.

fuckkk.