(no subject)
to be completely honest.
I'm a huge disaster now.
I havent drank in a week and a half
and I'm shaking.
I'm fucking shaking.
and I know I have problems with drinking
and now that Im being placed in substance abuse group therapy
I cant drink or do any sort of drugs anymore.
which doesnt seem like it would be that hard.
but it is, just because I know I CANT do it anymore makes me want to more and more
like today when I was uptown, we stopped in waldbaums to pick up a drink and I looked over at the beer, and I starked shaking and I felt sick and walked out of the store.
I wanted so badly to pick up a 12 pack.
and drink every single beer down.
and honestly, I dont know how Im going to function without it
or how Im going to act.
because I'm used to drinking everyday to the point where, I can drink down a 12 pack and act what everyone else thinks is completely normal for me.
I cant stand myself.
I'm a huge disaster now.
I havent drank in a week and a half
and I'm shaking.
I'm fucking shaking.
and I know I have problems with drinking
and now that Im being placed in substance abuse group therapy
I cant drink or do any sort of drugs anymore.
which doesnt seem like it would be that hard.
but it is, just because I know I CANT do it anymore makes me want to more and more
like today when I was uptown, we stopped in waldbaums to pick up a drink and I looked over at the beer, and I starked shaking and I felt sick and walked out of the store.
I wanted so badly to pick up a 12 pack.
and drink every single beer down.
and honestly, I dont know how Im going to function without it
or how Im going to act.
because I'm used to drinking everyday to the point where, I can drink down a 12 pack and act what everyone else thinks is completely normal for me.
I cant stand myself.