(no subject)
i thought being numb would work. i could go a couple weeks at a time without feeling a thing, when in reality, i just feel more. all my emotions poured into one big pitcher with SOUR written on the side. i am sick of feeling like this. my heart hardly beats and when it does it sinks deeper.. and deeper.. and deeper. i just want it to be totally depleted or have all of it there, not both. is it me or are things are no longer permanent, but instead they are translucent. but maybe it's my eyes & i cant seem to see the other side. i dont know what i'm saying and that's just it... i don't know. but tonight really needs to end. and so does this; whatever you want to call it.