All dressed up with no place to go
Well, due to snow I won't be able to make it to church this morning. I'm bummed. Its been two weeks since I last went and I was looking forward to it. Plus, I got myself all gussied up for it. Lol. On the up side though, is that I got absolutely no sleep last night, so I can sleep. But I don't know if I really want to because if I do then I'll be awake tonight. Lol...decisions, decisions.
You know what I keep thinking about? Even though I keep giving this desire to the Lord, I keep thinking about getting married. Life has placed me suddenly in this new state, in a new congregation, and I keep wondering if perhaps the Lord has someone for me here. And I keep wanting it so badly. Its actually part of the reason I got all pretty today. *blush* I know that I'm young, only nineteen, but I can't help wanting to fall in love so badly. Is that pathetic? Its not that I think I'm a nobody without somebody and in all honesty I like to think of myself as a pretty independant person, but I think about cold winter days like this and I think how nice it would be to curl up close to someone and just watch the snow fall. And perhaps sleep would be even more appealing if someone was lying next to me.
I've ALWAYS wanted to fall in love, truely fall in love with the man I'm meant to be with. But you want to know something wonderful? As much as I want to get married, I want Jesus even more. If he decided to come back right this instant I can honestly say that I wouldn't regret never getting married. Somehow, some way, Jesus has become my true love. I fail Him so many times that I don't truely understand how He could want me anymore, but still, all that I am and all that I want to be is wrapped up in my wonderful Jesus. I love Him. Its strange because if you had talked to me even six months ago I would have told you that I really want a husband first. But I've been struggling these last few months and I've been so horrible to Jesus, and somehow my struggling has brought me to a better understanding of just how much I need my Savior. Its indescribable, this feeling. I just know that I never want it to end. I just want to fall deeper and deeper in love with my Jesus.
Lol. Its so strange where a diary entry can lead you. I usually start out with one thing in mind and then end up writing about something completely different. I'm sorry if this is just a bunch of ramblings to some of you, but keep in mind I'm extremely tired and I missed church. Lol.
Dear Jesus,
I love you. I'm so grateful for the things you are doing in my soul and life Lord. I feel closer to you in ways I do not understand. I can't wait to see your face Lord. I can't wait until that day when I can finally see You face to face. Please Lord, bring me to a place where I could never mistake you for anyone else or mistake someone else for You. Please Lord, I want to know you. I want to laugh and cry and sing and dance with You. I want to love You above all others and I want to seek You first and foremost. When I fall asleep at night I want my last thoughts to be of You, and when the morning sun wakes me in the I want You to be my first thought. I want to be thankful for each day even if that particular day was a trial. I want to lavish You with praise and worship and I want to partake in all of Your wonders. I want to serve You with humility and joy. I have so many desires Lord, so many dreams that I want to share with You. For You, my sweet Lord, are my life, my air, my very strength. I believe in You as I believe in nothing and no one else. I adore You. And I want the world to know who You are. I want my family to love You as I am beginning to.
Sweet Jesus, thank You. Thank You for saving me, for caring for me, for loving me. Thank You.
You know what I keep thinking about? Even though I keep giving this desire to the Lord, I keep thinking about getting married. Life has placed me suddenly in this new state, in a new congregation, and I keep wondering if perhaps the Lord has someone for me here. And I keep wanting it so badly. Its actually part of the reason I got all pretty today. *blush* I know that I'm young, only nineteen, but I can't help wanting to fall in love so badly. Is that pathetic? Its not that I think I'm a nobody without somebody and in all honesty I like to think of myself as a pretty independant person, but I think about cold winter days like this and I think how nice it would be to curl up close to someone and just watch the snow fall. And perhaps sleep would be even more appealing if someone was lying next to me.
I've ALWAYS wanted to fall in love, truely fall in love with the man I'm meant to be with. But you want to know something wonderful? As much as I want to get married, I want Jesus even more. If he decided to come back right this instant I can honestly say that I wouldn't regret never getting married. Somehow, some way, Jesus has become my true love. I fail Him so many times that I don't truely understand how He could want me anymore, but still, all that I am and all that I want to be is wrapped up in my wonderful Jesus. I love Him. Its strange because if you had talked to me even six months ago I would have told you that I really want a husband first. But I've been struggling these last few months and I've been so horrible to Jesus, and somehow my struggling has brought me to a better understanding of just how much I need my Savior. Its indescribable, this feeling. I just know that I never want it to end. I just want to fall deeper and deeper in love with my Jesus.
Lol. Its so strange where a diary entry can lead you. I usually start out with one thing in mind and then end up writing about something completely different. I'm sorry if this is just a bunch of ramblings to some of you, but keep in mind I'm extremely tired and I missed church. Lol.
Dear Jesus,
I love you. I'm so grateful for the things you are doing in my soul and life Lord. I feel closer to you in ways I do not understand. I can't wait to see your face Lord. I can't wait until that day when I can finally see You face to face. Please Lord, bring me to a place where I could never mistake you for anyone else or mistake someone else for You. Please Lord, I want to know you. I want to laugh and cry and sing and dance with You. I want to love You above all others and I want to seek You first and foremost. When I fall asleep at night I want my last thoughts to be of You, and when the morning sun wakes me in the I want You to be my first thought. I want to be thankful for each day even if that particular day was a trial. I want to lavish You with praise and worship and I want to partake in all of Your wonders. I want to serve You with humility and joy. I have so many desires Lord, so many dreams that I want to share with You. For You, my sweet Lord, are my life, my air, my very strength. I believe in You as I believe in nothing and no one else. I adore You. And I want the world to know who You are. I want my family to love You as I am beginning to.
Sweet Jesus, thank You. Thank You for saving me, for caring for me, for loving me. Thank You.