Dec 07, 2004 19:23
im writing a depressing entry.
get over it.
ive been so upset lately this week. i dont know what it is, but ive been so sad. i want my mom to be happy for me. she doesn't understand how happy adam makes me. when i'm with him, i'm the happiest ever. i havent seen him in three days, for the past three days i've been extremely moody. she thinks adam is the reason i never hang out with my friends, or go anywhere. he's not. i make my own choices. if i dont wanna be with my friends, i dont. no one makes my decisions for me. she feels that adam will haze me from seeing what i want and can achieve in life. no one can stop me from doing what i want to do. adam is only getting his g.e.d which is partly not his fault. he's the most mature 17 ive ever met. he's worked since he was 15. this is the first boyfriend i've ever had that actually likes me. he's happy with me, and he doesnt want anything else from me. for once in my life. i feel wanted. my mom thinks we're too close. who isn't too close?! every couple i know wants to be with each other constantly. i'm only 15, i'm not looking for a husband.
lately i've felt unappreciated by everyone. i feel like no one wants to really talk to me, they only do it just cause im talking to them. i dont want that. i dont see anything wrong with me. i try hard to make everyone happy, whats ever been wrong with that? i've been making plans to hang out with people i never hang out with. i wanna be the person that people can say, "i love her, shes so sweet, fun, cute, blah blah.. whatever." maybe it sounds like i starve for attention, if thats what you think.. then that's your choice.
i also realized that a lot of people are drinking and smoking pot now.. i don't like it for myself, but if you do, i'm not gonna down you. i just don't need it. i worry about everything, and i don't want that to be something i have to worry about.
i think i have tonsilitis or mono. i want mono. i don't want to go to school. i hate school too. i dread getting up every morning and going to school. i hate our principal. he's an idiot. he's changing rules and making things so confusing! just die!! this is basically an entry about nothing but rambling and complaining. so i'm sorry if you read all this. (which i doubt you did)