wow i'm updating...

[____silhouettes]

so yeah... it's been icky lately.. realllllllllllyyyyyyy icky. i guess i broke up with anthony. i still like him a lot it's just i just don't want a boyfriend and he said he'd give me my space and i know it's cruel of me, trust me i'm not that very fond of myself to begin with, but i just can't help the way that i feel. i just want to have fun and be a teenager, i don't want to have a boyfriend, it's not that i dont' want HIM as a boyfriend, but i don't want ANYONE as a boyfriend. he's like my best friend and i think he probably hates me, not that i blame him. i just wish he'd believe me when i say i do love him, because i do, i just don't watn a boyfriend. it has nothing to do with him, i know it doesn't seem that way to him now and i know he doesnt' understand and i try to make himunderstand but i know he won't. maybe some day he will, hopefully. and my parents are flipping out at me a lot lately too, i missed one or two homeworks, and now i'm down to a B, a B!! a B is above average so i think they should just leave me the fuck alone... that's what i think.. amen to that... but on the bright side... i went over sams and i really missed her.. maybe i'll post some pictures of us together but i dunno how lazy i'm feeling i'll decide by the nd of the entry. so the sad cafe's putting on a dance for allie tongiht and everyone should go.. because if you dont' i'll have to bust a cap in your ass and trust me, it aint pretty when i start bustin caps. haha sam's mom tried to teach me how to knit so i can make a scarf... i made the ugliest thing you will ever see... it's pitiful everytime i look at it it reminds me of how much of a loser i am haha. well my eyes hurt.. i think i'm going to go.. oh wait one more thing.. i hope if anthony goes tongiht he doesn't flip out at me or try to fight or anything because that's not what we're there for we're there for allie and as soon as we leave that building he can say whatever he watns but all allie wanted is for people to be happy. so i'm going to try to be happy... for allie. i miss her and stuff ya know... we all do... everything's just so akward.. i'm usually an overly happy person, smiling's my favorite i'm just really really really tired right now. so i'm going to take a shower because i hvaen't in a few days and hten i'm going to do some chores and study for finals... alright? alright.

love always,
-kelsey