you make me sick.
you ever just wonder, why is it, everytime i get back up.. i always get kicked right back down. what is it about me, that every god damn time i try, nothing goes right.
after ben and i broke up, i wasn't happy that we broke up, but somewhat excited. because well, obviously, i wanted it because i broke up with him, but the point is. i wasn't single for 8 months, and so i was happy to be spending time with my friends and whatnot.
a few weeks later, i met mike. we started dating. after i broke up with mike, we went through so much bullshit, that i was just so done, with everything. i didn't ever want to date again.
sooner or later, came matt. which i went in for it, and he screwed my head up more.
i learned that i don't need a guy in my life to make me happy, and i really don't need one right now.
so, i started to get my life back together.
finally, after about two months, my best friend and i made up. which probably has made me happier than i was when we were fighting. and everyday i think about it, and how stupid it all was, and how i would have been if we never started talking again. how i almost lost the best friendship i will ever have in my entire life, over someone who fucks with my head. and so, i probably couldn't say this enough, but. i'm sorry erika. and i love you, and thank you for everything you've done for me in the past 5 years weve been best friends.
so, it was going goood. hanging out with erika again, made me feel more like myself.
another one comes along. i think to myself, "yeah, he's cute. but i don't want anything." sooner or later, we share our first kiss.
i realize, i've let my guard down. so, i figure. hmm. his friend tells me to go for it, he's a good guy.
so i figure what the hell- okay. so i put all the bullshit of my past behind me, and opened up, and started liking him more and more.
and what happens.
i haven't talked to him in about 3-4 days.
i don't want to be with anyone else.
i let my guard down-
for him.
and that's the only one on my mind.
i haven't told him how i felt-but i'm going too, and i'm praying that it goes well, and we spend some more time together.
anyways. lol.
i'm moving at the end of october.
i'm hopeing my step-sister moves out.
:)
bye.!
after ben and i broke up, i wasn't happy that we broke up, but somewhat excited. because well, obviously, i wanted it because i broke up with him, but the point is. i wasn't single for 8 months, and so i was happy to be spending time with my friends and whatnot.
a few weeks later, i met mike. we started dating. after i broke up with mike, we went through so much bullshit, that i was just so done, with everything. i didn't ever want to date again.
sooner or later, came matt. which i went in for it, and he screwed my head up more.
i learned that i don't need a guy in my life to make me happy, and i really don't need one right now.
so, i started to get my life back together.
finally, after about two months, my best friend and i made up. which probably has made me happier than i was when we were fighting. and everyday i think about it, and how stupid it all was, and how i would have been if we never started talking again. how i almost lost the best friendship i will ever have in my entire life, over someone who fucks with my head. and so, i probably couldn't say this enough, but. i'm sorry erika. and i love you, and thank you for everything you've done for me in the past 5 years weve been best friends.
so, it was going goood. hanging out with erika again, made me feel more like myself.
another one comes along. i think to myself, "yeah, he's cute. but i don't want anything." sooner or later, we share our first kiss.
i realize, i've let my guard down. so, i figure. hmm. his friend tells me to go for it, he's a good guy.
so i figure what the hell- okay. so i put all the bullshit of my past behind me, and opened up, and started liking him more and more.
and what happens.
i haven't talked to him in about 3-4 days.
i don't want to be with anyone else.
i let my guard down-
for him.
and that's the only one on my mind.
i haven't told him how i felt-but i'm going too, and i'm praying that it goes well, and we spend some more time together.
anyways. lol.
i'm moving at the end of october.
i'm hopeing my step-sister moves out.
:)
bye.!