for me to rmemeber when i;m older...crazy when i re read this it's gonna be the past...

[____primadonna]

it feels like jsut yesterday i was in 10th grade, ditching Taft almost every day and not feeling like college was in the imminent future. not having a care in the world and looking at the world through innocent eyes. college has always been some far off thing that i wouldnt have to worry about for many years; jsut soemthing u hear aboput but it has no real relevance in your life. but at the end of sophmore year i realized that i was growing up and for the first time it hit me that i would be going to college soon. this was the first time college had a real connection to my life. i wacthed my friends graduate, friends who seemed not much older than me going off to make a life for themselves. no more high school bullshit where if you fuck up you get another chance. this was for real. and i remmeber making a post kidna like this last year at aroudn this time. but this year it is even more relevant in my life. every single one of my firneds with the exception of about 3 people are no longer in high school, they are part of the adult world. it;s not like you have unlimited chances to do tings anymore, if you fuck up, you have no where to go and no one to blame but yourself. and my friends who are of this age no sure as hell don;t seem to me like adults. not to be insulting at all but like when i was little i would see 7th graders and think they were so grown up. and college kids, jeez it was like a whole other ball park. now my colleagues are off to make a life for themselves and i jsut can;t contemplate how they are gonan actually be able to do it. i mean all the seniors are soo psyched about graduating, but i feel sad and nostalgic. like isn;t it sad you jsut had your last day in high school EVER? like no more high school. everything you've ever known for your whole life was school and now it;s ACTAULLY done. not like one of those American Pie movies where the kids are graduating it;s actually YOU doing it. no more high school parties, no more getting yelled at by your parents for curfew, no more being a minor. not ONLY is it freaking me out aboutmy friends, but further more this is now my last summer as a kid, since i'm gonna be graduating ocober/novermberish. it jsut dones;t feel like it becasue i;m not going through the whole graduation process at a traditional high school. that;'s one of the only negatives about homeschool. i'm never gonan do the whole high school experience, senior dith day, senior prank, senior event, prom, etc. etc. i mean if thigns go according to plan i'll be living in san diego in less than 6 months. i jsut feel like i'm stuck here and i need to rest and take a breath but time stops for no man. time jsut keeps moving on and on, whether i;m ready for it or not. and losing friendw was hard enough when your friendw went to different schools after elementary and middle school graduation. jsut think some of my best friends who i have made countless memories with for 4 years are now mopving halfway across the country and i may never see them again. like you and your friends alwasy tried to coordinate your classes and schools to be together but i;ve leanrned u can;t do that with college. for the first time you REALLY do need to put yourself first cause decisions made now will affect you for the rest of your life. its not a win/win situation, nothign will work out perfect fore everypne. sacrifices will need to be made and frienships lost. it's jsut kind of sad and inevitable but i guess there really is no other way. well i jsut want to wish all the seniors the best of luck and keep your memories of high school close and rmemeber the good times and good friends for the rest of your life. live this summer up, get drunk, laid and party your heart out. jsut make sure you live it up and have a kcik ass time in your life. i wish i could stay close with everyone of you but i know that i can;t and i wish you all the best of luck in life and everythign you do. i hope you all accomplish anythign and everythign you've ever wanted.

good luck,
Shayna