(no subject)
hmm havent updated this in a reeally long time
well iv had my bad days and when i mean bad i mean bad. im in rehab right now and 31 days clean, go me ! took alot for me to finally get the help i needed and im not ashamed of it. i have an amazing guy in my life who didnt turn his back on the crazy gf. he stood by me and helped me and still is, if i didnt have him right now idk what would keep me sane. and finally a guy who treats me like someone special he doesnt shit on me or fuck me over. so idk life right now is good, and i kinda just felt like venting.
the only suck thing is that from me getting sent to an in-patient to out patient program iv had to distance my self from the people around me, the ones who were using with me or who still do. iv had to give up a best friend and that sucks alot and idk what to say to her anymore, i had to say i cant talk to you and hang out and it sucks, even tho i had to do it, i had to also change my cell number. but what really gets me is that everyone uses from drinking to shooting up you name it someone is doing it. school isnt that bad right now just gotta catch up cause my recovery comes first b4 anything even if that means school.. iv learnd alot the past 2 months. my family is getting much better and more supportive to me now we hardly fight which is good. and im gaing trust back in them. but as always we all have our bad days.
im right now just trying to figure myself out and my surroundings. which is hard to do when you have gone from doing certian things seeing certian people to having to drop everything you kno and start over which is the hardest part. which is why im feeling really alone. the only people i see is the kids at my rehab, my boyfriend matt and my family. so when im not with him im home doing nothing. and theres noone i can call to just hang out cause they are either high or going to get high so idk what to do about that.
but yeah idk im gonna go lay down.
goodnight.
well iv had my bad days and when i mean bad i mean bad. im in rehab right now and 31 days clean, go me ! took alot for me to finally get the help i needed and im not ashamed of it. i have an amazing guy in my life who didnt turn his back on the crazy gf. he stood by me and helped me and still is, if i didnt have him right now idk what would keep me sane. and finally a guy who treats me like someone special he doesnt shit on me or fuck me over. so idk life right now is good, and i kinda just felt like venting.
the only suck thing is that from me getting sent to an in-patient to out patient program iv had to distance my self from the people around me, the ones who were using with me or who still do. iv had to give up a best friend and that sucks alot and idk what to say to her anymore, i had to say i cant talk to you and hang out and it sucks, even tho i had to do it, i had to also change my cell number. but what really gets me is that everyone uses from drinking to shooting up you name it someone is doing it. school isnt that bad right now just gotta catch up cause my recovery comes first b4 anything even if that means school.. iv learnd alot the past 2 months. my family is getting much better and more supportive to me now we hardly fight which is good. and im gaing trust back in them. but as always we all have our bad days.
im right now just trying to figure myself out and my surroundings. which is hard to do when you have gone from doing certian things seeing certian people to having to drop everything you kno and start over which is the hardest part. which is why im feeling really alone. the only people i see is the kids at my rehab, my boyfriend matt and my family. so when im not with him im home doing nothing. and theres noone i can call to just hang out cause they are either high or going to get high so idk what to do about that.
but yeah idk im gonna go lay down.
goodnight.